


Cryptids, Conflict, and Confusing Emotions

by NoelleLilacNotte, Yiiiiikes



Category: Invader Zim
Genre: Bullying, Dib’s art skills, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Enemies to Lovers, F/M, Nobody in this story has healthy coping mechanisms, Underage Drinking, parental neglect, reader is a Mean Girl
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-09
Updated: 2020-02-25
Packaged: 2021-02-28 02:01:14
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 25,189
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22625983
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NoelleLilacNotte/pseuds/NoelleLilacNotte, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yiiiiikes/pseuds/Yiiiiikes
Summary: Spending the night in the woods hunting cryptids with the school weirdo leads to a lot of confusion.
Relationships: Dib Membrane/Reader, Dib/Reader
Comments: 14
Kudos: 99





	1. Cold

If you were being honest with yourself, you didn't actually give a shit about Dib Membrane. Yeah he was a dweeb, and kinda creepy sometimes but it's not like he'd ever bothered _you_. Really the only reason you tormented him was because it was what everybody expected of you. That applies to pretty much everyone though, if the rest of your clique deemed them uncool enough to be put on the map then you would comply in whatever teasing and mockery you felt would help you maintain your social status as the Baddest Bitch in town.

Today had been a pretty regular day. Wake up, skip breakfast because you gained two pounds over the weekend, do your hair, put on your makeup, go to class, and make sure you stayed at the top of the food chain. You're pretty sure you made some kind of mean spirited comment to Dib during lunch, probably something about him being crazy. It was hard to keep track of the kids you did and didn't make fun of on any given day.

So you weren't anything other than mildly perturbed when your Field Biology teacher partnered you and Dib together for an assignment. You had rolled your eyes and muttered "ew," just loud enough for the two girls sitting next to you (Faith and Hillary, your best friends/cousins) to hear and giggle at.

You were a little bit more upset when you found out that this particular assignment would require you to work on it outside of class. With Dib.

It’s not like it wouldn’t be _tolerable_ if you had to waste a weekend bribing and/or threatening this geekboy into doing the assignment, but your teacher was adamant that you had to use “real books” as sources, and none of “that lazy internet stuff” for the assignment.

Which meant you had to go the library, and the library meant you ran the risk of being seen in public with the laughingstock of the school.

If you actually had any food in your stomach, you’re sure you would have puked it up from the nerves. Or if not the nerves, from Faith mocking your legs again. Damn her _and_ her perfect beach-body, you knew she ate pizza at least twice a week and that body was genetic.

At least the extended conversations with your soon-to-be-burden would spoil your appetite. Maybe if he got your grades back up, your parents would “forget” to lock the liquor cabinet like they did last time you pulled a B+.

Or maybe they’d just go on a holiday and forget you existed for a while, so you could drain their cheaper bottles in the comfort of your own, empty, home.

All things considered, there weren't too many problems with your situation, and none that you couldn't solve with a snide comment and an intimidating sneer. It would be easy to make this dork do most of the work while you sat back and fixed your cuticles. At least, that's what you thought, while you were on your way to the library after class to meet up with Dib.

You had slapped a notecard on his desk as class ended, not wanting to actually speak to him unless absolutely necessary. It wasn't anything fancy, all it said was, "Library, 3:30. Do Not Be Late."

He didn't look intimidated the way that most people did when you approached them. In fact, if anything he looked about as annoyed as you felt. You marched up to the table he was at and set your purse down on it, jolting him out of the book he was engrossed in

"I know you don't plan on doing any actual work on this project so you can just leave me alone and put your name on the first slide." Dib said.

Well. You had been planning on doing that but now you were pissed! Fuck this guy!

"That's suuuuper nice of you but I'm gonna have to decline that offer. You know what they say, if you want something done right do it yourself!" You give him the most vicious glare you can while smiling like a model in an ad for toothpaste. Dib rolls his eyes and scoffs but he doesn't argue with you. Nobody ever does.

"Okay, well then let's get to work. I already picked out a topic." He slid his book over to you, it was some boring historical novel about the towns history. Dib had underlined a section in particular about a local legend, supposedly if you went deep enough into the forest at night you may find a great bear like creauture.

The thing was supposedly twice the size of a bear and with antlers like a deer. Apparently many years ago, before even your grandparents were born, there was a woman in town who had managed to tame the beast. The woman was accused of witchcraft by the townsfolk and subsequently burned at the stake. In it's despair, the creature returned to its wild and cruel state, fleeing into the woods after the town had attempted to light fire to it as well.

Some tellings of the story said that the woman would appear as a ghost to warn hikers of impending danger, others said that she was an omen, and once or twice you had heard that she was considered to be an angel.

It was probably the stupidest, tiredest myth you knew of.

"Ugh. As if! We are not doing a project about this thing! What would we even do? This isn't a history class, there's no point in retelling the story, everybody here knows it." You said. Dib was still relatively new to the city, having only moved here for school last autumn.

"We're not going to be just telling the story!" He laughed and rolled his eyes, like you were the one being stupid. "We're gonna find it and prove it exists!"

You gave Dib the blankest, deadest stare you could manage. Was this kid serious? You were like 80% sure he was just fucking with you.

“You have... _got_ to be kidding. This thing isn’t real, and even if was, you want me to...what, ruin my clothes in the gross woods to go hunting?”

“Well, not exactly—“

“Then what, you want me to just follow you into some random forest full of bears and bugs, super far away from civilization? No thanks, kid, I’m not gonna be some horror movie bimbo who follows a serial killer into a trap so he can get his ghost-fetish rocks off.”

You were expecting him to submit and accept it, like any other person would. _Nobody_ talked back to you. Well, not to your face at least, and the only people who spread rumors were people close enough to you that you could spread rumors about them back.

Instead, Dib got pissed.

"You really think I want to be spending my Friday afternoon with _you_ of all people?! I have a million things I'd rather be doing that hanging out around some air headed mean girl." He snaps back. "And on top of that, it _is_ real. I've been researching this thing for weeks, looking through old newspapers and police reports and-"

"I'm gonna stop you right there. I've lived in this town my entire life. My family has been in this town since it was founded in like the fifteen hundreds. If anybody were to know about some kind of freaky monster and the ghost who's in love with it or whatever, it would be me. In fact, I _am_ gonna join you in the woods. Because I wanna see the look on your face when you realize that you're a crazy person and that there's nothing in that forest but trees and deer and normal forest shit!"

"Fine! Let's go then." Dib gathered up his things and speed walked away from the table.

"Wait, like now?! No way, at least let me change my shoes first!" You cried running to catch up with him.

"Nope. We've only got so much daylight left to set up a base and a lure. Stopping for shoes could take up time that could otherwise be used documenting our research." You scoffed when he said 'our research'. As if you were actually going to be doing anything other than rubbing it in his stupid smug face that monsters aren't real.

You wished you hadn’t worn a skirt. You wished you’d worn literally anything that covered your lower legs, but you hadn’t, and with Dib pulling you along through the woods at a breakneck pace, your shins were getting shredded by the thorny underbrush.

He’d had the right idea wearing those obnoxious knee high goth boots, not that you’d ever let him know you thought that. After you’d tripped on a bramble and fallen on your ass or knees at least 10 times, you finally put your foot down.

“This is a waste of time. There’s nothing out here! The sun’s been down for like three hours, and we haven’t seen _one_ hint of anything other than trees and sharp fucking branches!”

Dib’s face quickly became a mix of exasperation and anger, and he slapped his hand over your mouth to keep you from talking.

“Shut up! Do you want something to hear you and come eat us?!”

You glared at him as best you could, and did the only thing one can do when someone has their hand over your mouth. You licked his palm, to which he retracted the hand and wiped it on the side of his coat in disgust.

“What the hell was that for?!”

“I don’t know, count dork-ula, why’d you fucking gag me? And Jesus, dude, wash your hands, I can taste the leftover dick sweat.”

For once he didn't have a snappy retort, his embarrassment leaving you feeling at least a little bit more accomplished. You sat yourself down on a mossy rock, too tired to care that it would _definitely_ be staining your skirt. You poked at one of the deeper scrapes on your leg. Shit that thing was really bleeding. God, if you ended up with a scar on your shin because of this dork Faith was going to have a fucking field day.

"Hey, Mr. 'I've Been Preparing For This For Weeks,' did you prepare enough to bring a band aid?" Dib somehow seemed more embarrassed about not having medical equipment than he did about your comment about him jerking off.

"No- I was uh. I was in a rush and I didn't think you would actually be coming with me. I thought I would stop by my dorm after I left the library but then you insisted that you wanted to come with and-" you interrupt him by groaning as miserably as you can.

"Are you serious? These woods are like _actually dangerous_ and you didn't bring ANYTHING?!" You cried. "Fuck all the monsters and shit, there's like bears and stuff out here! Are you fucking stupid?" You didn't bother listening to Dib's response.

Instead, you dug around in your purse searching for something to stop the bleeding. Ultimately, you ended up dumping the contents of your bag on the forest floor and ripping out the lining of your purse to use it in combination with a hair tie to form a makeshift bandage.

"Let's just turn around, okay? It's dark and it's cold and I'm covered in scrapes and I-" _'I'm fucking scared.'_ "I wanna go home already!"

Dib visibly deflated and you couldn't help feeling a _little_ bad. Not a lot though. Not enough to actually give a shit.

"Yeah, okay." He resigned.

It took another twenty minutes of walking for you to realize that you guys were hopelessly lost.

“Oh god, _please_ tell me you at least had the sense to bring a map or something.”

“W-well, no, but I know these woods like the back of my hand!”

“Then why are we lost?”

“We’re not lost!”

“Yeah we are. We’ve been going in circles.”

You sat down on a rock. Looking closer, it was the same mossy rock from earlier. You stuck your head in your hands and groaned. Today was _not_ going your way.

“What the hell are we gonna do?”

You didn’t like the way your voice broke. This, crying like a child in a cold forest that smelled like rotting leaves, was above you. But there you were, ruining your makeup and feeling weak, vulnerable, in front of some geeky loser you barely even knew.

Dib seemed equally uncomfortable with your impromptu breakdown. He swayed nervously on his feet, awkwardly patting your shoulder a couple times before sitting on the ground beside you.

“It’s...it’s gonna be ok. We’ll...I-I mean, I’ll get us out of here! If we just pick a direction and keep going, we’re sure to hit something eventually, right?”

“Yeah, or maybe we get eaten by bears and fucking die out here.”

Dib had the nerve to scoff at your statement.

“There’s no bears in this forest, just foxes and deer. C’mon, give me some credit here, I’m not an amateur! I was prepared for this trip.”

“Prepared, without a map or first aid supplies.”

“...yeah. Look, why don’t you just...stay there for a second, I’ll find a clearing or something so we can camp out until sunrise.”

You sniffled and nodded, too tired to argue. It had to be at least midnight by now, and you were almost positive that Hillary has been blowing up your phone for the last two hours. You would have called her (or anyone really) for help but you had absolutely no service out here.

While Dib scoped out the area you sat on your rock, feeling sorry for yourself and wiping tears off of your grimy face. You probably looked like hell right now. If anybody saw you like this- you shudder at imagining the consequences.

When you looked in the dirt you could see your own blood trail. It was surprising considering how dark it was outside and how the ground around appeared to be... wet? Wait, what the fuck?

Slowly clambering off of your rock and onto the ground, you hesitantly touched the wet dirt surrounding your blood. When you pulled your hand back a thin string of the liquid formed a bridge between your fingers and the earth.

Spit. It was spit.

Something had been licking your blood. And the surface area of the wet spot was far too big for any deer or coyote to have produced. Faintly, you hear the wind whistling and the branches rustling somewhere ahead of you.

"Hey, Dib?" You call to him without looking back, keeping your eyes trained on the darkness ahead of you.

"Kinda busy!" He called back. You didn't turn to see what he was busy with, instead continuing to stare and listen to the sound of wind and of twigs breaking distantly. Your heart pounded in your chest. There's no way the thing that Dib had been talking about was real, but there was a pretty decent chance that there was at least one bear in this forest and you really did not like those odds.

"Hey, I've got everything almost set up over here, would you mind helping me move this big rock?" Dib asked. You didn't respond.

The wind was getting louder. The sound of branches cracking was getting louder. Very faintly, you could see an outline behind the trees.

"Dib." You're not sure if you're trying to warn him or beg him to save you. He doesn't look back at you.

"Okay, fine I'll move it myself!" He said, followed by the sounds of the most pathetic Man Versus Rock struggle you'd ever heard.

With your eyes focused on the silhouette ahead of you, you were quick to pic up on the shape of.... antlers. Sharp ones. Massive antlers. Too big to belong to any deer. And this silhouette was bigger than that of any deer you'd ever seen as well. Somewhere at the back of your mind it registered that you hadn't been hearing the wind this whole time.

You'd been hearing it breathing.

You screamed, and the shock startled Dib out of his struggle with the rock. He looked at you, saw your terrified expression, and followed your gaze to the silhouette of the...whatever that thing was.

Instead of grabbing you and running like he should have, Dib’s face split the biggest grin you’d ever seen, and you have to admit that on some level, his excited whoops and “told you so”’s were diminishing the ominous nature of the situation.

You weren’t sure whether the obviously diy’d contraption he was pointing at the thing was a camera or some kind of gun, but whatever it was, it was loud, and when it fired, the light it emitted was _bright_.

You spent the duration of Dib’s probably pretty impressive fight with the monster huddled on the ground with your face in your knees and hands over your ears.

You only peeked up at the scene after you heard the thing’s thunderous footsteps heading away from you. You could almost hear your neck cracking when you finally looked up.

Dib was grinning like a kid at Christmas, his glasses askew on his face, with the little contraption held tightly in his hands.

“Holy shit! I was expecting footprints, maybe some fur or shed antlers, but we found it! We found it, and I caught it on camera, and you were here to witness it! Crop Circles magazine is gonna want to interview us, and—hey, what’s wrong?”

“What’s wrong? What’s wrong?! Are you fucking kidding me?!”

God he was so stupid! You were ready to absolutely tear him a new one.

" _What's wrong_ is that thing could have fucking killed us and you're over here acting like a kid on christmas!" You screamed.

"I promise you any therapy you're gonna want will be covered when we get rich and famous for officially discovering this thing. Here, as a show of good will, I'll even let you be the first to look at the pictures!" His optimism about the situation only only furthered your anger. You snatched the device out of his hands and peered down at the screen.

You began feeling more and more hysterical the further you scrolled through the pictures. You quickly devolved into manic giggles, which made you burst into tears as well.

"H-hey, it's not _that_ scary, I mean, I beat it right? There's nothing to be afraid of now, I promise!" He said. It was almost sweet how he tried to comfort you.

"Not a single one!" You said through bursts of giggly sobs. "Not a god damn mother fucking one!"

"What do you mean not one?" Dib asked, his blood running cold in his veins.

"You didn't get a single fucking picture of that thing!" You cried and held out the device for him.

"No, no, no, no, no!" Dib scrolled through all of the photos, finding that you were more or less correct. All his photos contained was a sliver of the forest (and a blurry monster arm, occasionally)and a ball of white light, mocking him. The light he had added to the device to stun the monster (notoriously afraid of fire, and by association bright lights) had drowned out the rest of the images.

Your laughter bordered on hysterical, but quickly devolved into miserable sobs. You were sure you were dehydrated, and the salt water streaming down your cheeks was not doing that fact any favors.

Dib’s annoyance turned to confusion at the sound. He clearly knew how to handle it when you were pissed or mocking him, but he’d been awkward about your being upset earlier, and he was practically radiating discomfort now.

“So it was for nothing, then. We have to camp out here in the shitty forest in cold weather with no food or blankets or _anything_ , we might get eaten by bears, I got traumatized, and we don’t even have anything to show for it.”

“Uh, hey it’s not... _that_ bad? I mean, we’re gonna be ok...”

“We’re gonna fucking die out here, aren’t we?”

“What?! No, of course not!”

“We’re gonna die in the gross-ass moss pits and nobody’s gonna find us for years, and they’re probably gonna use my ugly Junior year school picture on the news.”

“Whoa, hey, calm down-“

“And I’m gonna die with so many regrets! I never got any of my short stories published, I never gave Hillary her favorite sweater back, I never told Jake how many times I faked it!”

“...are you ok?”

“My cat’s not gonna know where I went, my parents won’t care, they’re probably gonna bury me in that ugly brown dress I hate...”

Your voice tapered off, the salty tears renewed as you choked on your words and let your delirious state lower the last of your inhibitions.

“God, I was so mean to everyone. I don’t have any friends, not really. Jake only uses me for sex, even Faith and Hillary only tolerate me for the status, and they’re my _cousins_! I have Mr. Midnight, but he’s a cat, I can’t bring him to movies or get lunch with him or anything.”

“...”

“I’m sorry. God, I’m so pathetic, you don’t deserve this shit.”

“No, no...it’s, it’s...um, ok.”

"No, really I'm _sorry_. I wish I had been nicer to everybody..." You say, and scrub the tears off your face. "Especially you." You're too exhausted to process the stunned look on Dib's face.

He gapes at you for a moment trying to summon words. You almost cut him off before he got the chance to speak.

"You don't have to be like that, you know. I'm sure a lot of people would like you if you were just... _Nice_. And genuine." He refrained from saying 'And intimidatingly pretty'.

You didn't respond, just continued to try and dry your tears and force yourself to stop hiccuping. Suddenly, from behind you there was a flash of light.

"Hey, what do you kids think you're doing out here so late at night?" A forest ranger! Thank God! You scrambled to your feet.

"Please, Mister, we got lost hours ago and we just wanna go home!" You cried, practically fallling into this mans arms.

"Geez, kid, you two sure took a beating out here didn't you? Did something attack you?"

"Yes!" Dib said, eager to talk about the encounter you'd just had. "It was a-"

"A mean coyote. I didn't think they got so aggressive with people but that one was just awful!" You interrupted.

Dib made a move to protest, but abandoned the idea halfway through. He gave a noncommittal “Yeah” and went with it, following the ranger with you. When you finally collapsed on the couch in the ranger’s office, you swore you could feel your legs thawing in real time.

Dib sat down next to you, and handed you a bottle of water. You took it, gratefully accepting it and draining the thing in a matter of seconds.

“Thanks, Dib. Really.” You squeezed his arm, trying to make a friendly, or at least apologetic gesture.

“It’s ok I guess, fear response and all that.”

“...Dib, what I said back there...”

“I got it, I got it, I won’t tell anyone. Reputation stuff, right?”

“Ok, yeah, and thanks for that, but I’m trying to say I meant it. I’m sorry I was such a bitch to you. I won’t...y’know, do that to you anymore.”

“Oh! Um, thank you? Apology accepted, I-I guess...look, you’re probably super tired and dehydrated, and I asked the ranger guy to call my sister to pick us up. She goes to, uh, a different school so she won’t tell anyone about this.”

“Thanks. I think I’m gonna just...sit back and try to calm down for now.”

“Y-Yeah, ok! I’ll wake you up when she gets here.”

You nodded, and let the exhaustion take over your body. When you finally woke up, your head had somehow fallen onto Dib’s shoulder, and he was looking very stressed about it. A short girl with purple hair and a vintage Space Invaders shirt was standing in front of you, looking angry and judgmental.

You quickly sat up and scooted away from Dib.

"So do I have to drive your girlfriend home too?" The girl (you assumed she was the sister that Dib had mentioned earlier) asked, clearly pissed off. Hey, you cant blame her. It's 2:30 in the morning, if Faith or Hillary called you right now begging for you to come pick them up from the rangers station you wouldn't be very happy about it either.

"She's not my girlfriend!" Dib exclaimed. You scoffed and rolled your eyes, standing up and stretching. The sound that your aching bones made was unsettling to say the least.

"We're not dating. But I do need a ride. I'll pay you if I have to." You tell her. She sighs, still angry.

"Just get in the car."

The drive from the rangers station was long and quiet. You had nodded off again quickly, choosing to unbuckle your seatbelt and lay down in the backseat. Meanwhile, Dib tried to convince Gaz of the incredible encounter you'd had.

"Really, Gaz the thing was huge! It was like, three bears stacked on top of each other!" He said, even though she had made it clear that she wasn't listening. Dib flipped through the library book, the one he had been reading when you initially met up with him. He stopped suddenly on a particular page.

In almost the exact same moment, Gaz pulled up to your house, having received the address from you not long before you passed out.

You awoke quickly and made a point to thank Gaz for the ride.

"I'll uh. I'll see you at school." You said to Dib, whose eyes were fixed on his book.

"Yeah, yeah. At school." He responded absently.

As you walked back inside you thought to yourself, 'God he's such a dork.' And surprisingly, the thought made you smile instead of cringe or sneer.

Back in the car, Dib was fixated on an illustration in the book. It was supposedly a drawing of the woman who had tamed the creature... And she bore a striking resemblance to you.


	2. Friends?

The sun had barely peeked over the horizon when Dib finally realized he was tired. He’d been posting nonstop on various supernatural forums, everything from posting the blurry monster arm photos he’d managed, to starting fights in the comments section over whether or not Bigfoot could reasonably wear crocs.

One tab kept grabbing his attention, though. He’d found a dark web page, where you could post any picture of a creature, and the experts on the other end would identify it for you. Tonight, he’d sent them a picture of you.

He’d barely known you for a day, but his mind kept coming back to you. You couldn’t be human, you had to be a fae, or a succubus, or a siren, or _something_. Dib did not like the hold you had on him, and if he was going to break whatever spell he was under, identifying your species was step one.

The tab dinged, letting Dib know that someone had responded to his listing.

[user_anonymous_194827 at 6:23 am]   
Species Identification: hot girl. get your shit together man.

Dib groaned and clicked away from the tab. He'd seen hot girls before, _you_ had more power over him than any other hot girl ever had! If nobody was going to help him, he decided he was going to have to figure it out himself.

Immediately he pulled up every bit of lore he could find on creatures notorious for taking on the appearance of gorgeous human women to lure men into their traps. He found one particularly promising article, although he was pretty sure it wasn't exactly aimed at him.

HOW TO TELL IF YOUR GIRLFRIEND IS ACTUALLY A DEMON TRYING TO TAKE YOUR SOUL (AND ALSO YOUR KIDNEY)

1\. SHE'S WAY OUT OF YOUR LEAGUE, BUT APPEARS TO SHOW YOU A SIDE OF HERSELF THAT OTHERS WOULD NOT BE PRIVY TO SEEING. THIS IS TO MAKE YOU MORE TRUSTING OF YOU SO THAT SHE CAN MORE EASILY GAIN ACCESS TO YOUR SOUL (AND INTERNAL ORGANS).

2\. SHE GREATLY RESEMBLES CERTAIN HISTORICAL OR BIBLICAL FIGURES THAT YOU MAY ALREADY BE FAMILIAR WITH. THIS IS TO LURE YOU INTO A FALSE SENSE OF SECURITY. BY WEARING A FAMILIAR FACE, THE SEDUCTRESS LEAVES YOU MORE SUSCEPTIBLE TO HER ATTACK.

3\. YOU WAKE UP WITH A VERY LARGE SCAR ON YOUR ABDOMEN AND SHE WILL NOT ANSWER YOUR CALLS.

Okay so maybe this guide wasn't going to be as helpful as he thought... But the first two points checked out!

The articles didn’t _really_ give Dib much to work off of, but a few things remained consistent. Whatever “it” was, it would take the form of a pretty girl, lure an unsuspecting man into its trap, and kill and/or eat him.

Well, you hadn’t tried to eat him yet, so that was a definite plus! He wasn’t getting anywhere with narrowing possibilities down, so he turned to the hands-on approach. He could try and get you to touch pure silver, or holy water, or rock salt, and if you didn’t react, it would eliminate vampire or some form of demon from his list.

He could hold onto an old silver dollar, and shake your hand or something. Then he’d know if you were a vampire!

Yeah, he’d know. That’s why he was doing this. That’s the reason he was making this plan. Not because he wanted to touch your hands, or have an excuse to get close to you again like when you’d fallen asleep on him at the range station.

Yeah, of course not.

When he attempted approached you in the hallway between classes to execute his flawless plan, he overheard you talking to the two girls he always saw hanging around you.

"Ohmigosh! Your necklace is soooo cute! Where did you get it?" One of them squealed at you.

"Oh, it was a Valentine's day present from Jake. It's real silver and 24 karat diamonds. I told him I didn't really like diamonds but, well, you know how he is!" You said. Huh. Silver. Well, that answers that

"Hey, what was up with you at church last weekend?" One girl asked you.

"Yeah, you tripped and fell in the holy water that they'd just used for that babies baptism and just like, barely even noticed it!" The other girl said

"Did another long night with Jake leave you tired?" The first asked, wiggling her eyebrows.

Fuck! Well, all that he had left to cross off on the vampire list was rock salt but at this point he didn't even feel the need to run that experiment. He was beginning to feel more and more stupid the more he thought about it. That guy was probably right, you're just pretty.

He must have been staring too long in to obvious of a position because one of your friends stage whispered to you, "Don't look now but that weird kid is _staring_."

You turned around to look at him but time seemed to slow down for Dib. It was like a scene in a movie, the way your hair swished and your eyes sparkled. You looked stunning. So stunning in fact that when you asked him what he wanted (in a much gentler tone than you normally would) he couldn't even formulate a response. Instead he just stuttered and gawked at you before turning and power walking away.

You were definitely not human. You couldn't possibly be human if you could reduce him to... to _this_!

You just...waved him off as he power walked away. That would probably be rude coming from anyone else, but knowing what he knew about you? Your non-acknowledgement of his social fuckup was a kindness all its own.

Dib found himself at his desk an hour early, absentmindedly doodling on a scrap of notebook paper. He hadn’t even realized that one of the more detailed drawings looked like you until he saw you approaching. You looked around, probably making sure nobody else was around.

“Hey, so like, we didn’t actually get any work done on the project the other day, so...do you maybe wanna come over tonight and work on it?”

Dib panicked. On the one hand, if you were planning on seducing and eating him, that would be the opportune time for it. On the other hand, he was absolutely enjoying the concept of hanging out with you, at your own house no less. Also, he really needed the A for this class.

“Yeah, totally! I mean—uh, sure.”

Fuck. Oh fuck, oh shit, he just said yes.

Oh well, death by crazy-hot sex demon was decidedly not the worst way to go.

"Cool. Here, give me your hand," you said and Dib panicked. You noticed his obvious distress and laughed softly, in a way that made Dib's head feel light. "I'm not gonna bite it off, jeez. I just need to write down my address."

Oh. Crisis averted?

"Right, yeah of course!" Dib held his hand out to you. You flipped it so that his palm was facing the desk and he couldn't stop thinking about how soft your skin was. After procuring a pen and writing down your address you gave him a curt goodbye and left the room.

He was _really_ glad you hadn't noticed the image of You-But-Not-Actually he had drawn in his notebook. Facing you after that would have been worse than you eating him.

The end of the day couldn't come fast enough. Dib had been so worried about your address rubbing off his skin that he wrote it down at least a hundred times in a hundred different places so that even if he lost his backup's backup's backup's backup's backup he would still have at least a dozen scraps of paper with your address on it.

He had it memorized by the end of the school day. He didn't even need to use the papers. He did though, just to double check. And triple check.

When he showed up at your house, you were already wearing pajamas, and Dib couldn’t help but think about how goddamn cute you looked. You shut the door behind him when he walked in, and led him to a couch and coffee table piled high with books.

“My parents have a bunch of pretty old books, so there’s probably something in here we can use!”

“Sounds good! Speaking of, where are your parents? Should I introduce myself or something?”

“Oh, they’re away. Dad’s taking mom to some resort in Cancun for their anniversary. They won’t be back until next Friday.”

Dib fought hard to push down the thoughts that inevitably came with being alone with someone hot in a house, especially considering the whole “my parents aren’t home” bit of that sentence.

“Oh, uh, ok. So...where do you wanna...start?”

“Let’s just...find a book that won’t bore us to death, ok?”

“Alright.”

“By the way, that drawing you did earlier was really good. Did you take art classes or something?”

Oh God. Oh fuck. Did humans taste better if they were humiliated right before they were eaten?

"Ha! Uh, no I just uh, draw a lot, I guess. Y'know lots of practice." He said, nervously rubbing the back of his neck. Please God don't acknowledge that it was very clearly a drawing of you.

"It looked kind of like me."

FUCK.

"O-oh, really? I hadn't actually noticed. What a coincidence!" He said, growing more anxious by the second. You looked up from your book and raised an eyebrow at him but didn't ask him any other questions.

Ultimately, you ended up writing a report on how much the local flora and fauna has changed in the last several decades (you spent a lot of time staring at plants while you were lost in the forest and became surprisingly good at identifying them.) You closed your book and sighed.

"Hey, are you hungry? I'm absolutely _starving_." You said. Dib did not appreciate the shiver that went up his spine at your tone. Wait, stop being horny and think for a second Dib! She's _hungry_ , she's preparing to feed!

You stood up and stretched your arms above your head. Your shirt rode up as you did, giving Dib a quick look at your belly and hip bones. The sight gave him a _lot_ more uncomfortably pleasant feelings than it should have.

“I’m gonna make some popcorn, you want some?”

“Oh, uh, yeah!”

Popcorn. Not human flesh. That was a good sign at least, unless you were just fattening him up. But that didn’t make sense, fat is the grossest part of the meat, and an excess of it would just make him taste bad.

You practically skipped to the kitchen, and the smell of buttery popcorn filled the room. You returned with a large bowl filled to the brim with fluffy white kernels, and Dib was grateful that the bowl was big enough that he could hold it in his lap and not draw your attention.

He had to admit, it was really good popcorn. Not good enough to distract him from you, but...good.

The more he looked at you the more he noticed the veneer of 'unattainable cool girl' slipping away. You weren't nearly as immaculate as he'd initially thought. Your eyeliner was uneven, your lip gloss was smudged, and you looked... Tired.

Not just physically but emotionally. If you were some kind of succubus you would certainly appear more lively than you did! But in spite of every tiny sloppy detail he noticed, he was still enamoured with you.

The way your hair stuck to your lip gloss should _not_ have been endearing but it was.

You weren't just sexy, you were... cute. Really cute. The kind of cute you see in 'amateur' porn stars.

Oh. Oh Jesus.

Here he was, acting like a jackass thinking you were some kind of succubus when really he just wasn't used to thinking with his dick like this! Of course he was oddly attracted to you, you looked just like the girls in the porn he watched!

Dib recalled a specific video he’d been going back to a lot recently, and was suddenly even more thankful for the large snack bowl. He became a lot more torn on the subject though, when you dug your hand into the bowl and grabbed a handful of popcorn and stuffed it into your mouth, squishing the bowl down into his lap in the process.

Dib noticed a couple bits of popcorn fluff stuck to the corner of your mouth, and couldn’t help but picture a different kind of white stuff stuck to your face. Preferably, he’d be the one to put it there.

Nope. Nope nope nope, those thoughts were not welcome. Dib reached over without thinking, and brushed the crumbs off of your face with his thumb. You looked at him in confusion, snapping him back to reality.

“Oh, uh, sorry, you had some stuff on your face.”

"Oh, thanks." You said. "Well, I'm surprised we managed to knock all of this out in one sitting."

"Yeah, me too." Dib said, relieved to be able to focus on work again. Even if you guys didn't have anything to work on anymore.

"Sooo, since you're still here, and we've got all this fucking popcorn... Wanna watch a movie?" You asked. Oh God, there was no way Dib could handle staying and watching a movie with you- isn't 'watching a movie' code for 'fucking on the couch' anyways?

"Yeah sure!" Oh for fucks sake! Dib was beginning to fear that he had a terminal case of Foot In Mouth Syndrome.

"Cool, I'll put something on!" You set up a movie on the massive tv and sat down on the couch. You looked at him expectantly and after a beat you patted the couch. "I'm not gonna force you to sit on the floor. You can come up here on the couch if you want to."

Dib tried _very hard_ to hold the popcorn bowl in a way that hid his equally hard dick. You scrolled through a bunch of movies on the tv, eventually settling on some B-list horror movie.

You sat cross-legged on the couch next to him, and while you weren’t _touching_ him, you were close enough that he could feel your body heat. God, when was the last time he’d been this close to someone? Dib couldn’t recall, and he wasn’t sure if it was pathetic or just annoying.

You watched the movie passively, occasionally making a throwaway comment about one of the characters’ stupid decisions. Dib noticed that you very purposefully didn’t make fun of the nerdy character, even betting him that that was the one who’d survive.

“No dude, I’m serious. You think football-dick isn’t gonna be the first to die? That’s horror movies 101, the jock and the slut always die first. Glasses guy knows what’s up, he’s gonna kill the demon thing and be the last one out.”

“Ok but you’re forgetting, there’s also the pretty girl who’s insecure and reads books on screen, that’s a textbook final girl! Plus, the glasses guy has a crush on her, and it’s not like horror movies ever let anyone have a relationship without getting killed!”

“Ok smart guy, if you’re so smart, wanna bet?”

"You know what, yeah! What do you wanna bet?"

You laughed, a startled little giggle that Dib found absolutely precious.

"Shit, I didn't think I'd get this far! Honestly I was just calling your bluff!" The smile you gave him was so sweet that Dib could almost pretend that it was normal, that you guys did this all the time and were _actual_ friends, not just... whatever you were.

"If they kill the dog I'm gonna fucking riot." You said, snapping Dib out of his daydream.

"They definitely will. Not on screen but, it's bound to happen." Dib replied. Talking about dead dogs would probably help out his little situation but of course the universe decided to test him.

As it turned out, the Archetypal Slut (whom neither of you had bothered to remember the name of) was cheating on the Jock. With the nerd. And the movie pointed that out by showing a _very graphic_ sex scene.

You seemed...weirdly comfortable with the whole situation. Or at least, you were very good at hiding the uncomfortable nature of the situation. While Dib focused on _not_ giving away his predicament, and avoiding thinking about how every time your hand brushed the bottom of the popcorn bowl, the pressure was grazing his dick, and that was _kind of_ like you were touching him. You spoke up a few tense minutes into the scene.

“I’m calling it now, either he’s gonna cum too early and the chick is gonna get pissed, leave, and get eaten, or the jock is gonna catch them and then get eaten.”

Your first assumption had been correct. As Archetypical Slut got torn to shreds halfway off camera in a way that had clearly been shot to minimize the amount of budget needed for CGI, you laughed and gently shoved Dib’s shoulder.

“Ha! I fuckin told you dude! One down, two to go. I wonder who’s gonna get picked off next?”

“Uh...the jock?”

“Oh absolutely, those meathead jerks are never smart enough to survive serial killers or movie monsters.”

Dib laughed softly, and hoped that you couldn’t hear the nervousness seeping into his voice.

“Aw, c’mon, aren’t you dating that Jake guy? He’s kind of a meathead himself, no offense...”

Oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck, he was just reminding himself that he had the hots for a _taken_ girl, how low could he get?

“...Jake _is_ a stupid fucking meathead. I’d break up with him if I could, but he’d probably leak my nudes or doxx me. Either way he’d ruin my life.”

"Oh. Shit." Dib wasn't sure what the appropriate response to that would be.

"Plus everybody and their fucking grandma is like, obsessed with us. Like we're some kind of dream couple or something. There's a reason girls like us," you say gesturing vaguely at the screen to indicate that you were talking about the now dead Slut. "Cheat on guys like that." You point directly at the Jock, with a surprising amount of disdain in your voice.

The implications of that were very clear to Dib.

_There's a reason girls like us cheat on guys like that... With guys like you._

Awesome. Just great. Now he's thinking about fucking you and getting sweet, sweet revenge on that asshole Jake from his english class at the same god damn time. He couldn't help but wonder if his dick was bigger than Jake's. It probably was. Dib didn't want to brag but he definitely had a longer than average cock.

"See! I told you that jerk-off douchebag was gonna die next!" You said, pulling Dib out of yet another sexual fantasy about you.

The two of you sat in comfortable, if somewhat melancholy silence for the rest of the movie. True to your adamant insistence that horror movies didn’t have happy endings for anyone, the nerd character survived at the cost of his friends. The ending monologue was pretentious and clearly trying too hard to be deep, but Dib couldn’t help but feel a certain kinship to the character, especially when he waxed poetic about the dead girl he’d been sleeping with.

Dib realized he’d just spent two hours hanging out on the couch with someone, and hadn’t gotten made fun of once. He was suddenly very painfully aware of how badly he wanted to scoot closer to you, to wrap his arm over your shoulders and let you fall asleep on him like last time.

When you stretched and shifted in your seat, you ended up a few inches closer to him than before, and as pathetic and depressing as it was, Dib wanted to cry at the proximity.

He didn’t look forward to spending the night hugging his pillow like usual, he knew he’d end up fantasizing that it was you.

It was getting dark outside now, which meant it was probably about time for Dib to head home. He was just about to say his farewells when you spoke up.

"Wanna watch another one? Something less shitty and predictable maybe?" You asked. You tone didn't hold a lot of softness, but it was enough yo make Dib's heart _melt_.

"Yeah, I've got nothing else to do tonight!" He responded, probably a little bit too excitedly. But instead of teasing him you gave him a half smile and began scouring for movies once again.

It took you nearly half an hour to find a suitable film (you'd both spent far too long arguing as to whether or not European thrillers with subtitles built into the movie were pretentious). And by the time you did pick something (a movie from when both of you were younger, something to do with elves and magic and other silly things) Dib's 'issue' had mostly subsided.

He had a whole new problem on his hands. His terrible, terrible loneliness.

How fucked up was it that you'd showed him the barest amount of human decency and now here he was yearning for you like you were his lover, fighting a far away battle on distant shores.

“Hey, Dib?”

“Yeah?”

“So...this is a weird question. Like, really weird, but just...bear with me, ok?”

“Sure?”

“Is this...I mean...are we friends now?”

Dib paused. He’d never thought about the exact things that defined the lines in relationships. At this point he was confused enough on his own internal feelings about you, he hadn’t had the time to wonder about what dynamic label you actually currently had.

But...you seemed upset. You sounded almost as lonely as he felt. As much as he wanted to hold you close and kiss your forehead and stick his tongue down your throat and his dick up your—...well, as much as he wanted to kiss you anyway, he still found himself unusually concerned with your emotional state.

“Uh, yeah I think so? I mean, we’re hanging out right now, yeah?”

You smiled sweetly, the tinge of sadness in your eyes being overtaken by a hopeful smile.

“In that case...congrats, Membrane. You’ve managed to make yourself into my first real friend.”

Dib smiled at you, feeling (and looking) like a huge dork.

“Uh...come to think of it, you’re my first ‘real friend’ too.”

He didn’t like calling you his friend. He wanted to call you his girlfriend. He wanted to hold your hand. But you needed a friend right now, he thought, so that’s what he’d be.

For you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor Dib. Not even the threat of death can stop him from getting that A, or giving you that D.


	3. Saturday, Sunday

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok so TW for this chapter: Coercion and sexual assault.

Saturday nights were supposed to be fun. Saturday nights were supposed to be when kids like you got to let loose and have fun. But for you, going out to some stupid party on a Saturday night was just as shitty and mandatory as waking up the next morning for church.

Although, Saturdays usually contained a lot more uncomfortable groping than Sundays.

"C'mon baby, if you don't wanna fuck the least you can do is give me head." You'd been arguing with Jake for upwards of fifteen minutes now, far too long to be arguing about getting fucked.

"God, will you shut up if I blow you? You're so annoying sometimes!" You huffed.

"I'll shut up about a _lot_ of things if you get that pretty little head of yours down here." The double meaning of that statement was not lost on you. You shudder to think of all the ways that Jake could ruin you.

Despite the lack of want to even touch the guy, you found yourself between his legs, bruising your knees on some rando’s bedroom carpet while Jake tangled his fingers in your hair too roughly to be comfortable.

You wished you were somewhere else. You wished you were back home watching tv instead of bracing yourself for a blowjob like you braced for a shot as a kid. You wished you were in Dib’s bedroom with him instead of—

Wait, what?!

You almost stopped what you were doing at the sudden thought of your best/only friend being desperate for you. Jake grabbed your head and pulled your mouth over his dick, and you choked back a gag and tried your best to just relax and get it over with.

Dib wouldn’t gag you like that. Dib wouldn’t bruise the back of your throat and make you cry off the $40 mascara you’d gotten for your birthday. Dib would be sweet and let you take things slowly. He’d be gentle with you and probably even hold you softly when everything was done. Maybe _he’d_ be able to make you cum.

Jake choked you on his dick again when he came. You gagged again for a different reason. You wanted to throw up, and it wasn’t even because you wanted to be skinny this time.

You went to the bathroom and spit a mouthful of water at the mirror, but the gross sticky feeling in your stomach just wouldn’t go away.

You sent two texts before climbing out the bathroom window and running to the nearby park. One to Jake, making up some bullshit excuse about your parents having a nanny cam you forgot to deactivate, and one to Dib asking him if he was free. Jake sent a noncommittally annoyed “fine”, while Dib asked where you were.

You told him.

And Dib's immediate response was urgency. He told you to wait for him, that he was going to come get you. It felt nice, that he was looking out for you.

You waited on the curb, not bothering to try to clean yourself up. Dib's already seen you at your worst, he can handle seeing you with a few mascara tracks.

Your mind drifted to him again, and you wondered how it would feel to kiss him. Would he be nervous if you did? Would _you_? Thinking about it made your heart flutter and your stomach twist at the same time.

When a car pulled up to the curb you were sitting you clambered to your feet, twisting your ankle trying to stand up in those god awful pumps you were wearing. You practically fell into the passenger seat of Dib's car.

"I don't care where we go as long as it's away from here." You say and you're suddenly aware of just how badly you're slurring your words. Had you really had that much to drink?

“Jesus, what happened to you?”

“ _Please_ lets just go.”

“Do you...want me to drop you at your place?”

You shook your head violently. Dib looked concerned, but accepted it.

“...ok. You can stay with me in my dorm tonight, ok? You can sleep in my bed. I-I mean, I’ve got a couch I can sleep on, you don’t have to share with me or anything...!”

You nodded, sighed gently and closed your eyes. You didn’t care where you slept, as long as it wasn’t you passing out drunk on some college senior’s grimy loveseat. Dib seemed to get the message, and you spent the trip in silence.

He had to help you walk up the stairs to where he was staying. You gave up and kicked your shoes off after the first few steps, resigning yourself to have dirty, probably torn stockings the next day.

When Dib finally let you collapse on his bed, you wrapped yourself in his absolutely adorable—no wait, stop it brain, blame it on the liquor and move on—galaxy print comforter and curled into a ball with it. You found yourself surrounded with Dib’s smell, and it was a lot more comforting than you’d like to admit.

Dib went to leave, probably to go sleep on the couch in the other room like he’d said, but you grabbed him by the wrist and tugged him back.

“Wait...please...please don’t leave...I really don’t wanna...I mean, I can’t be alone right now.”

Your eyes were watering but for once you didn't bother trying to swat away the tears.

"Hey, hey it's okay, I'm not going anywhere if you don't want me to." He said. The sincerity in his voice brought on a fresh wave of hot tears, but for once you were crying not out of despair but out of gratitude.

"Do you... wanna talk about it?" Dib asked. You could tell he was walking on eggshells, doing his best not to upset you any further.

"I hate Jake. I hate when he touches me or looks at me or fucking thinks about me. I hate him so much." You whisper.

"I'm sorry." Dib says, and you realize that you haven't let go of his wrist. You don't want to let go. So you don't.

"Can you just... lay here with me for a while? Until I fall asleep?"

“Uh, sure...just, gimme a second to take off my shoes.”

The few moments it took Dib to put yours and his shoes by the door felt like hours to you. Miserable, lonely, uncomfortably sticky hours. You wished he hadn’t had to leave.

Your crying had only gotten worse when he finally came back.

You’d been reluctant to let go of Dib’s wrist, so you chose to hold it tighter than ever once you got it back, and you pulled it close to your chest once Dib laid down next to you. He didn’t move it, just let you hold his hand like a stuffed animal and used his free hand to gently wipe the mascara tears off of your cheeks as best he could.

You fell asleep content, with him beside you, and you woke up lonely, clinging to the pillow he’d been laying on.

You woke up with a pit in your stomach that you're afraid wasn't just from the hangover. It was still dark outside though, which meant that... well it didn't really mean much of anything other than 'you suck at sleeping alone.'

You pulled yourself out of Dib's bed, keeping his comforter wrapped around yourself. You wandered around until you found him, snoring obnoxiously on a couch.

You couldn't think of an excuse as to why you came to find him, so when he blearily asked you what you were doing you just sat down on the rug next to the couch and leaned against it. You wanted to climb up on the couch with him but... you didn't trust yourself to keep your thoughts platonic.

Dib surprised you by reaching over the couch to stroke your hair. You're both too tired for your own inhibitions, so while Dib shamelessly pets your head, you openly nuzzle against his hand.

“You ok?” Dib asked groggily.

You shook your head no.

“D’you wan’ me to come back an sleep in the bed with you?”

You nodded, giving up the last of your shame at the ever-so-enticing idea of getting to sleep next to Dib again. As he sleepily let you lead him back, you wondered if this would make things awkward between you two. You decided if it did, you could just say the alcohol made you lonely, and worst case scenario you could pretend you didn’t remember anything.

Whatever it took.

But until then, you gave up on thinking about problems, and just pulled Dib’s arms around your waist and curled into a ball with him holding you. It felt nice to be cared about, to have someone willing to wake up and disturb their sleep in order to make you comfortable.

Dib’s slow, soft breathing lulled you into a gentle sleep, and for once you didn’t feel entirely alone.

He was still there when you woke again, still softly breathing on your neck as he dreamed. You didn’t wake him up, and you didn’t force yourself to move either. You let yourself enjoy being held and cared for, feeling like a kid again as you pretended to be asleep.

You kept pretending, even when Dib woke up.

He wiggled his way out of bed, being careful not to 'wake' you. It was a sweet gesture, one that made your heart swell. He muttered something about getting you aspirin and water as he stretched.

You froze completely when he leaned over you and ever so gently burshed your hair away from your face. His hand lingered in your hair for a moment longer than you'd expected, but not nearly as long as you would have liked. Then he stood up abruptly, dashing out of the room.

While Dib was off doing whatever it was that he was doing you took a moment to linger on the feeling of his hands in your hair. That was the second time he'd touched your hair in the last twelve hours and both times felt absolutely heavenly.

You were starting to suspect that you may be a little desperate for affection.

Dib did end up going to get you aspirin, and you were grateful that he had it. Despite how incredibly comfy his bed was, you were sure you’d have a pounding headache the moment you opened your eyes. You put off officially waking up until after Dib had gone back to the living room, cringing at the lights and your rumpled clothes.

You stopped by the bathroom before going to find Dib, doing your best to brush out your hair with your fingers and dewrinkle your clothes.

You also tried to scrub the eyeliner and lipstick stains that had migrated all over your face. You successfully got rid of them, but your face and eyes were still red and raw from crying. You hoped the cold water you splashed on your cheeks would at least lessen the puffiness.

Despite your unashamed craving for specifically Dib’s affection, you were very nervous about confronting him. Instead of plopping yourself down on the couch next to him, you found yourself standing awkwardly in the doorway between Dib’s bedroom and living room, almost entirely lost for words.

“Um...hey.”

"Hey. Are you... okay?" He asked.

"Yeah. I mean, I feel like I got hit by a truck but other than that I'm... I'm okay." You honestly weren't sure if you were lying or not.

"Are you hungry? I don't think I have anything good here but we can go somewhere and get something to eat if you want."

You felt shitty about Dib being so kind to you. How could he even look you in the eyes after you had spent so long being so cruel to him? That didn't stop you from taking up his breakfast offer though.

Dib ended up taking you to some cheap diner place. You weren’t complaining, as long as they had pancakes you were happy. The waiter was very careful to put the two of you in a booth far back into the restaurant. You would be offended, but considering you were still wearing last night’s party dress, you were thankful for the isolation.

You sat across from Dib, wishing that you could be in the seat next to him, leaning on his shoulder and letting him hold you like before, but knowing that was just a bit too far for friendship.

So instead you slowly sipped at your drink, bracing yourself for the inevitable question when Dib finally spoke up.

“So...what happened last night?”

"Same thing that happens every Saturday night. I went to some shitty party, let Jake cum down my throat, and drank enough beer to kill a small animal." You said, refusing to look him in the eyes. You speared a piece of pancake on the end of your fork and cringed at the sound it made against the porcelain plate.

"If that's what you do every Saturday then why was it so upsetting last night?" You hated how good he was at interrogating you. You hated the caring look in his eyes even more.

"I don't... It's just too much sometimes. You know?" You said, drawing little shapes in your syrup and watching them disappear.

"I don't think I do, actually. _What_ exactly is it that gets to be too much?" He asked. Jeez, he was talking like a therapist. You hated how warm it made you feel.

"Just, y'know!" You gestured to the space around you. "Being..."

"Popular?" Dib finished for you.

"A girl." You corrected. "Everybody expects me to act a certain way all the time but most days I don't _want_ to go out and party, and talk shit about people, and give gross guys blowjobs because they would ruin my life if I didn't!"

"Woah, woah, is somebody- is Jake blackmailing you for _sex_?"

“What? No, he’s not...I mean, I’m not...it’s not like that! Jake is with me for the status and bragging rights, and I’m with him cuz it’s what’s supposed to happen. Keeping him happy is just part of the job, you know?”

Dib gave you a look. A mix of concern, disgust, and fury. You didn’t know wether to be flattered or offended.

Dib moved his hand, and for a second you thought he was going to hold yours, but he just grabbed his fork and stabbed a piece of pancake with more force than necessary.

“You know, you don’t have to put up with that shit from him. From anyone, really.”

“That’s sweet of you to say...but you’re wrong. My entire life hinges on my illusion of power, so I can’t let anyone break that illusion. Jake...he could do that. Besides, it’s not like I was kicking and screaming...I-I said yes.”

“But you also know the consequences of saying no.” Dib added.

"The consequences don't matter, I said yes, so nothing is going to happen. It's just... bartering, I guess." You said. You pushed your plate of pancakes away from you. You'd lost your appetite.

"But they _do matter_." Dib insisted. The righteous fury in his eyes, his overwhelming insistence that you deserved better... It made flames curl low in your stomach and around your heart.

"Can we please just drop it?" You said, sounding far more tired than you wanted to. Dib's look of anger faded into a more soft look. You couldn't seem to identify it so you settled on pity.

"Yeah, of course, I'm sorry I kept pressing I just-" he cut himself off, clearing his throat and carefully laying his fork down so that it wouldn't make any noise when it hit the plate. "I worry about you sometimes."

"What? Why?"

“What do you mean ‘why’? You’re my friend, I care about you, so when you seem like you’re hurting, I worry about it!”

You didn’t respond, just kind of slumped down in your seat and kept picking at your pancakes.

“Uh, hey, Dib? I’m gonna probably sleep for a while once I get home, but if you want to come over on Monday, we can watch movies again.”

Dib smiled, and it was infectious enough to have you grinning too.

“Yeah, sounds good!”

You both kept smiling the whole ride home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dib gave you pancakes. Appreciate him.


	4. Saturday, Sunday (2)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dib’s perspective.

Dib wasn’t exactly shocked when you texted him on a Saturday night. That’s what friends did, right? Talk to each other on the weekends, that sort of thing. You’d sent him a message asking if he was free, nothing too conspicuous, but the amount of typos in the following texts, the ones where you practically begged him to come get you, was enough to clue him into the fact that something was wrong.

His suspicious were confirmed when you said you were alone at some residential park on the other side of town. He hadn’t even bothered switching to jeans, just slipped on his shoes and drove out in his pj pants.

He found you where you said you’d be, your party dress slipping off of your shoulder, thick black tear tracks running down your face, illuminated by the harsh fluorescent street lights.

He still thought you were as beautiful as ever.

When you looked up at him through the car window you looked like a renaissance painting, with the streetlights illuminating you and reflecting light off of your sparkling dress.

You yanked open the car door so hard that Dib was afraid you'd break it. When you tossed yourself into the passenger seat and begged him to take you _anywhere but here_ his admiration quickly turned to concern. And he was even more concerned when you refused to tell him what was wrong and adamantly opposed to him bringing you back to your house.

So he brought you back to his dorm, a nice single person cottage on the edge of campus that his dad paid extra to put him in. The whole drive home he kept sneaking glances at you. You were lost in your own head, drifting in and out of consciousness. When you lifted your legs off the floor to curl up in a ball Dib noticed just how badly you reeked of booze, cigarettes, and sex.

Under normal circumstances, the smell of sex on you would have been heaven for Dib, but paired with the cagey way you’d been acting all night and the tear tracks on your face, it just made him even more concerned.

Dib had to practically carry you up the stairs to his dorm, and when you paused and kicked off your shoes in annoyance, he took note of the bruises on your heels and knees. You didn’t even notice when you stubbed your toe on the doorframe on the way in.

Dib had intended to let you sleep in his bed while he stayed in the living room, content to give you your space. Not that his heart didn’t flutter when you curled around his comforter, burying your face in it and sighing gently.

He was just about to leave when your hand shot out and grabbed his wrist.

"Can you just... lay here with me for a while? Until I fall asleep?" The pleading look in your eyes mixed with the way that your voice cracked broke his heart. Under any other circumstance you begging him to get in bed with you would have made him rock hard in a heartbeat, but now it just made his heart ache.

"Uh sure...just, gimme a second to take off my shoes." You nodded at him but your tears continued to spill over, staining his pillowcase with watery black spots. He felt awful leaving you alone, even for a moment. When he returned you were crying so hard you were hiccuping, and much to Dib's surprise you grabbed him by the wrist and pressed his arm against your chest.

In a moment of uncharacteristic boldness, Dib wiped your mascara tears off of your face to the best of his ability. Mostly he just smeared them across your face but the way you leaned in to his touch and your crying began to cease made it worth it.

The close proximity made Dib painfully aware of how raw your face was, you must have been crying for a while before he even came to get you. Your almost incoherent babbling about Jake made Dib’s concern and protective instincts flare.

He was _really_ starting to hate this guy.

By the time your breathing had slowed down enough to let Dib know you were asleep, he was tired and burnt out from the whirlwind spiral of emotions you’d sent on him.

He was hoping for a peaceful night of sleep, and maybe some answers in the morning, but what he got was entirely unexpected. You showed up at Dib’s feet at almost 2am in silence. He would deny it to the grave, but he was proud you’d come to him so quickly when you apparently needed the comfort.

For a moment he was pretty sure he was still dreaming, so to prove to himself that this was in fact real, he reached out and stroked your hair. When you leaned into his touch, practically purring at the contact he decided that even if it was a dream it was a pretty damn good one if he got to be so openly affectionate with you.

It wasn't as good of a dream however when he realized that you were trembling, and certainly not from the cold seeing as you were still cocooned in his blanket.

"You okay?" He asked, trying to wake himself up. When you shook your head no he asked if you'd like for him to come back to bed with you- although, since he was still half asleep he was certain that he said it far less eloquently than that.

He shuffled back to bed with you, too groggy to do the socially acceptable thing and sleep _on_ _top_ of the blankets instead of underneath them with you.

Curling himself around you felt like returning to a home he had never been to- unfamiliar and _right_ at the same time. He fell asleep almost immediately.

You hadn’t even moved when he woke up. The sunlight was glittering through his thin curtains, and he was almost convinced he was still dreaming. It took all of his effort not to squeeze his arms tighter around you.

But you needed to sleep. You’d had a long night. So Dib untangled himself from you as gently as he could, and thankfully you didn’t stir.

“I should...probably get you some aspirin or something, shouldn’t I?”

He hoped you wouldn’t be too upset to talk about what happened.

He pulled a stray lock of hair away from your face, last night he hadn't realized how soft it was. Now he took a moment to relish in it. You really were an anomaly. Even if you never dated him or expressed any romantic interest in him at all it was a once in a lifetime phenomenon for a girl like you to be sleeping in his bed. At the beginning of the school year he didn't think of you as anything but a bitchy girl who would peak in her senior year.

Now however he knew that you were more complex than that.

You were capable of complex thought and (perhaps most shockingly) remorse. You were a good person constantly being put in shitty situations.

Suddenly Dib realized his hand was still in your hair and he quickly jolted back, standing up and exiting the room as quickly as possible, praying that the sound of his drumming heart wouldn't wake you up.

He spent the next half hour sitting on his couch in silence. Even when he heard you getting up and running water, he couldn’t bring himself to do anything but let his mind run wild with questions.

Namely, what the hell had happened to you last night?

When you finally emerged from the bathroom, you didn’t sit with him. You just stood there looking awkward, and Dib felt a sharp pang of pity in his heart at your obvious upset. But hey, at least the mascara tears were gone. Those couldn’t have been comfortable.

“Um...hey.”

“Hey...are you ok?” Asked Dib. He really was trying to be gentle about the situation.

"Yeah. I mean I feel like I got hit by a truck but other than that I'm... I'm okay." It sounded to Dib like you were trying to convince yourself more than you were trying to convince him.

He didn't know how else to ask you what was wrong so he did the best thing he could think of and offered you food. He brought you to a little hole in the wall diner that he'd spent many late nights researching in.

Both of you ordered pancakes (he ordered chocolate chip ones, you asked how many calories there were in a pancake) and spent the first few minutes of your meal in relative silence.

It was absolutely killing Dib not to know, so he asked you the million dollar question, "So... what happened last night?"

Your response shocked him more than he thought it would. I mean sure, he was expecting something to have gone wrong at a party, but...your nonchalance about the apparently upsetting night hurt Dib in a way he didn’t understand.

Even when you insisted that you did this all the time, it just made Dib feel _worse_. You were avoiding his gaze and absentmindedly drawing shapes in the syrup on your plate, and he couldn’t help but think that was a textbook way to avoid talking about it.

So he pressed harder. He tried to get you to help him understand, but when you finally said the one phrase that made it click, Dib could almost feel his stomach drop.

“I don’t _want_ to give gross guys blowjobs because they would ruin my life if I didn’t!”

That sentence made his blood freeze in his veins. His urge to protect you overwhelmed all of his other senses. He dropped his fork on the plate, the loud noise making you flinch.

"Woah, woah is somebody-" not just _somebody_ , but that dirty son of a bitch, "is Jake blackmailing you for sex?"

Your eyes went wide and you made a sound somewhere between a gasp and a scoff.

"What? No, he's not..." Dib couldn't concentrate properly on what you were saying, his mind too clouded with rage to think straight. 'That fucker doesn't even realize how lucky he is to be able to stand next to you.' Dib thought.

He reached out to take your hand, to drive home the point that he was there for you but at the last second he chickened out, opting instead to pick up his discarded fork and stab his pancakes. He pretended that the cakes were Jake's stupid dumb asshole face.

“You know, you don’t have to put up with that shit from him. From anyone, really.” Dib said. ‘Because I’d protect you from anything, anyone.’ He thought.

Dib was having a _very_ difficult time keeping himself together, and not just hunting this fucker down and dissecting him on the spot. Lord knows the douchebag deserved it.

But _you_ were more important than that, and _you_ needed him to be there for you right now.

Your denial of his statement only served to further wrench his heart. He tried to argue, to explain to you that you really, truly did not deserve this but when all was said and done, you were tired.

He could see it in your posture, your eyes, the way you didn't bother smoothing out your wrinkled dress. You needed rest as badly as you needed him.

"I'm sorry I kept pressing I just-" 'Care about you so much that it physically pains me to see you suffer.' "I worry about you sometimes."

"What? Why?" Jeez you were just breaking Dib's heart with every other sentence. Why? Why did he want to see you happy as opposed to hungover and depressed?

Dib rushed to explain that he _cares about you_ because _you’re his friend_ and it sucks when you’re sad. He could feel himself cringe internally at the word “friend” but suffered through it. It was worth it to make you feel better.

You invited him over for another movie night, much to his elation, and Dib smiled when you did, happy have at least given you a bit of good in your day. He watched you smiling the whole way home, and kept his own grin on his face until he flopped back down alone into his own bed.

He could still smell you on his sheets, and that made his affectionately joyful demeanor turn very quickly into something else.

He hated himself for getting aroused by the scent you had imprinted on his blankets after having such a terrible night. But his dick didn't have the same moral code as he did.

He inhaled deeply, the smell of your perfume (and unbeknownst to him, your arousal) was intoxicating. He pulled the sheets up to his face, imagining that you were on the other side of the crumpled fabric.

His cock twitched at the thought of you in his bed under better circumstances.

With his eyes closed, and his hand slowly wrapping itself around his cock, he could almost imagine you were actually there next to him. The sex-charged adrenaline hit him harder than the guilt, but he could still feel the subtle wrench in his stomach over doing something so gross to the image of his only friend.

He remembered the way it had felt to have your hand pressing into his lap through the popcorn bowl the last time you’d been alone at your house. He wondered if your parents would still be on vacation tomorrow.

His thoughts drifted to the fantasy of you seducing him in your house tomorrow. He pictured you answering the door in a crop top and shorts, not noticing how your tits nearly fell out of your shirt or how your shorts were so small that he could see your pussy lips when you bent over.

He imagined that you would put on another movie, one quite a bit more raunchy than the ones you'd watched last time. You would comment on how hot it was in your house and peel off your top, exposing your breasts to him.

He thought about you playing with them absentmindedly, pinching and twisting your nipples while he watched. Then of course, you would ask him if he wanted to touch them.

He’d say yes of course, and you’d let him squeeze and fondle them to his heart’s content. You’d sit on his lap and pretend not to notice when he got hard, and he’d pretend not to notice that you’d soaked your way through your shorts.

Maybe you’d grind into him, get him desperate and dripping before finally pulling him out of his boxers and peeling your own sticky, wet shorts off. You’d sink to your knees and...no, you’d be aggressive and selfish, you’d push him down and fuck him as hard as you could.

He’d be shaking and moaning, holding onto your hips as your pussy wrapped around him instead of fucking his own hand with the blanket you’d used held against his nose. You’d finish and keep riding him, you’d kiss his neck and tell him to cum inside of you and—fuck!

Dib...was definitely going to have to wash these sheets.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dib really be out here being the source of my guilt kink, don’t he.


	5. Movie Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It’s not like you actually mean anything you say to them, right?

Over the last month you had quickly come to find that Mondays were your favorite days. Not because of school, dear God no. Actually, you weren't sure what it was that made you wake up on Monday morning with a little extra pep in your step.

No, that's not right.

You knew but you refused to acknowledge it.

Monday's meant movie nights with Dib.

Movie nights with Dib were very quickly becoming the highlight of your...well, everything. It meant you got to calm down for a night, that you could just relax and exist without putting up a front.

Well, you still had to hide your newfound feelings for Dib, but you had to hide those from yourself and everyone else on the planet on a daily basis anyway, so it wasn’t exactly a new feeling. Besides, you were getting good at ignoring it, especially in front of other people.

Especially Faith and Hillary, considering they still mocked him constantly.

Faith was reapplying lip gloss (that she had "borrowed" from Hillary) in the bathroom mirrors during lunch when Hillary mentioned him again.

"He's just so like... off-putting, you know? Like he creeps me out!" She said, flipping through a magazine. You knew full well that she didn't actually read any of the articles, she just looked at the pictures. "And those God awful shoes he wears _have_ to be against the schools dress code."

You opted not to respond, instead picking at your cuticles and ignoring her in the most inauspicious way you could manage.

Faith spun the lip gloss tube closed and made a popping noise with her lips. She turned to you and at first you assumed she was just going to ask if any of her makeup was messed up.

"Didn't you have to do a project with him in field biology like a month ago? And what was up with that time he just stood and stared at you in the hall and _ran_ when you turned around? Honestly, he looks at you like a kicked puppy." She said.

You knew you couldn’t brush her off for the hundredth time without being conspicuous. You hated the feeling of saying anything negative about your best friend, but you knew everything would go downhill if anyone got too suspicious.

“I don’t know, he’s just creepy like that.”

Hillary laughed, and even thought it was clearly fake, you were at least grateful that she’d bought it.

“Oh my god, what if he has, like, a crush on you? He’s always staring at you and scribbling in that stupid little book of his, maybe he’s in love with you.” Said Hillary, snide and bitchy as ever.

“Oh em gee, ewwww! That would be so creepy, he’s so the kind of weirdo who’d, like, tape a picture of you to his pillow and fuck it.” Faith chimed in.

You did not like how much you enjoyed that idea.

"God guys, gross! I don't wanna think about that!" You did. You wanted to think about him having filthy thoughts about you. You wanted to think about him acting on those thoughts.

"Sorry hun, he's just so freaky, you know?" Faith said. You hated the way she called you "hun," always so fucking condescending. You try to change the topic.

"Hey, Faith can I borrow your lip gloss?" You don't miss the subtle dirty look Hillary gives Faith when she hands over the lip gloss.

The formula was a little stickier than you'd like but it gave you an excuse not to talk for a few moments. And boy did you need those moments.

"How did things go when you had to work on that field bio project with him? Did he like, have a hard on the whole time?" Hillary snickered.

“How the fuck would I know? It’s not like I actually _talked to him_ , I just told him to do the project and slapped my name on it.” You said, and it came out more venomous than you’d originally hoped.

“Geeks are only good for one thing.” Said Faith, and Hillary nodded solemnly.

The bell rang and you feigned disappointment. You weren’t exactly happy to have to go to math class, but it was a welcome escape from the conversation.

You couldn’t concentrate on the teacher’s lecture. All you could think about was the uncomfortably enticing ideas that your “friends” had put into your mind.

You hoped Dib wouldn’t be able to tell how badly you wanted to see him act out those fantasies.

When you got home from school you proceeded with your usual routine: check to see if your parents are home (they're not), change into something more comfortable (but something that you think Faith and Hillary would approve of in case they stopped by), and ignored the homework piling up in your bag while you waited for Dib to show up (and fought off some of your more sinful thoughts).

Today, instead of putting on something Cousin Approved you just jumped straight into your pajamas. You went to the bathroom and scrubbed your makeup off before you even realized what you were doing.

You hoped Dib didn't mind seeing you bare faced, in drawstring pants and a loose tank top. You hoped he didn't mind seeing you at all considering what a two faced asshole you were. You wanted to keep him away from your guilt, to let him stay as unaware as you could. But in spite of that you texted him and asked him to come over a little earlier than usual.

Actually, a lot earlier than usual.

Now.

You texted and asked him to come over now.

You worried if you came off too desperate in your initial message, but then you remember drunk texting him at midnight three weeks ago and find a little bit of peace knowing that you can't seem as desperate as _that_.

Dib agreed, much to your delight. You were expecting the usual happy feelings that came when you saw him, but when you saw his casual, somewhat hopeful smile in your doorway, it just made you feel like shit.

You didn’t like feeling guilty. You didn’t like that you’d said bad things about your only real friend behind his back. Dib seemed to pick up on your bad mood quickly. Somehow that made it worse, seeing as how that meant he knew you pretty well.

“Hey, are you ok?”

"Yeah, I just..." You feel like you should fess up, like you should tell him what Faith and Hillary said about him. What _you_ said about him. "I just hate Faith and Hillary sometimes. They're such bitches!"

Dib laughed, seeming relieved that you weren't in any major distress.

"Trust me, I know. They're both in my gym class. It's a fucking nightmare." It hurts your heart to think about them tormenting him when you weren't there to redirect their attention to some other poor kid.

“You have _no_ idea, hon. You should hear some of the shit they say when nobody else is listening.”

“Oh yikes, I never thought about that. I’ve only ever heard what they say in front of crowds.”

“Hillary literally spent a good hour in the bathroom once, bitching about her ex boyfriend being such a quick shot. I had to talk Faith out of stealing someone’s acne meds from their gym locker just last week!”

“Jesus, I mean I knew they were bitches, but ouch.”

“I know, right? I’m ashamed to share gene codes with them. They’re just high-school has-beens, but they act like they’re hot shit who are better then everyone. They’ve even been picking on you more lately, it’s awful!”

“Wait, what? They have?”

Oh. Oh shit. Oh fucking hell, why’d you say that. He didn’t have to know, he shouldn’t know, he’s gonna hate you, he’s gonna call you a bitch and leave.

“...yeah. They’ve said some really bad things. I don’t...I don’t know why they target you.”

“Yeah...me neither. But they wouldn’t be the only ones.”

Well, he didn’t instantly hate you, but now you just feel more like a piece of shit.

“Hey, Dib?”

“Yeah?”

“I’m sorry.”

“Eh, don’t apologize for them. Terrible people will be terrible people. I can handle it.”

“Dib, I’m serious. I can’t...I can’t just... _stop_ my life, but I want...I _need_ you to know that I don’t agree with anything they say. I know I can be kind of a two-faced bitch, but...”

“But I love you.” You wanted to say.

“But you’re my friend.” You said out loud.

He reaches over to you and puts a hand on your shoulder, the place where his skin touches yours feels like fire.

"It's okay. Seriously. I get it." He says, but you don't think he actually does get it. You cannot even fathom the idea of him understanding all of the terrible things you've said about him and still choosing to be around you.

He gives you a sad sort of half smile.

"Y'know I think you're the only person who's ever apologized for being an asshole to me, so for what it's worth I think you're leagues above them."

You swallowed the lump in your throat and blinked away tears. He still had not removed his hand from your shoulder and frankly you don't think you wanted him to.

"Let's go watch a movie, okay? It's your turn to pick." You said. Emotionally charged conversations were never your forte, you were far better at redirecting and distracting.

“How about that shitty zombie thriller that came out last week? I heard it bombed so bad that the studio only made back a quarter of the original budget.”

“Hell yeah.”

You watched the incredibly bad zombie movie together for a little while in silence. The emotional aura from earlier had dissipated, and you were left with a comfortable relieved feeling and a wholesome little warmth in your heart that didn’t want to go away.

Until Dib spoke up.

“Sorry if this is weird to ask, but what were they saying about me?”

“Oh. Uhm, a lot of things. Mostly about your clothes, but also they said some stuff about you jerking off to me.”

You weren’t sure if the noise Dib made was a choke or a laugh, but you kind of hoped for the former.

"O-oh. Uhhhh..." you could physically feel how uncomfortable he was so you decided to try to pick up the conversational slack and give him a split second to relax.

"Yeah, they said something about you staring at me and writing in your little notebook." Fuck! Why would you _keep_ talking about it?!

"I'm not writing, I'm-" he cut himself off, face morphing into perhaps the most mortified expression you'd ever seen. And because you were such an idiot (and perhaps maybe a little bit of a sadist) you couldn't just let it go.

"You're what, Dib?" You ask.

He buries his face in his hands and mumbles something into them.

"I can't understand you when you do that, you know."

He groaned loudly, raking his fingers down his face. He absolutely refused to make eye contact with you, and his cheeks were bright red.

"I'm drawing."

Oh.

 _Oh_.

"You're drawing... _me?_ "

He covered his face again and groaned.

"God I'm sorry, I won't do it anymore. I don't even know why I do it, I just-"

"Show me."

"What?"

"Show me your drawings of me, Dib."

“W-what? Why?!”

“Because I know you’re a good artist and I wanna see!”

Dib blushed softly at the compliment, and silently went to reach into his bag. He found a folder of paper, flipped through it, pulled a couple sheets out...and handed you the rest of the folder.

“What’s on those other pages?”

“A secret.”

You rolled your eyes but accepted it, not wanting to give up the opportunity to see some of Dib’s artwork. The first couple pages in the folder were innocuous enough, just end-to-end doodles with the occasional more detailed sketch of some monster.

But the 20 or so pages below them were all surprisingly detailed drawings of you, mostly shoulder busts with different shirts and makeup.

All things you’d worn to school before.

He hadn’t been staring at you. He’d been studying you.

And he made you look a lot prettier than you felt like you were.

"They're... they're really good, Dib." You traced your nail around one of them, careful not to touch it and smudge it.

"Yeah?" He asked, voice soft in a way that gave you butterflies.

"This one is my favorite," you said, pointing to one of the newer drawings.

It was a full sketch of you, sitting in a desk, smiling down at your phone. You could tell instantly from the perspective that Dib had drawn it in field biology.

You also instantly knew what it was you were smiling about.

You'd never tell Dib, but you were rereading old texts, smiling at the banter you'd had earlier that week.

Seeing that sketch was the first time in a long time that you'd seen yourself looking genuinely happy.

“You, uh...you can...keep that one, if you want.”

You held the drawing gently, and nodded with excitement at his offer. As Dib stuck the other _secret_ drawings back into the folder, and stuffed the folder back into his backpack, you placed the one he’d given you on the coffee table, and leaned back in your seat happily.

Dib seemed to relax once he’d gotten his bag zipped, and mimicked your position, with his head tilted back on the couch, legs crossed and resting on the end of the table that didn’t have a drawing on it, and a contented little smile on his face. You liked that smile.

You didn’t even realize you’d reached over until you felt his fingers interlaced with yours.

You both looked down at your entwined fingers at that same time, equally surprised by what was happening. You could _feel_ him staring at you, but you didn't have the guts to face him so, without unlacing your fingers, you looked back up at the tv.

He made a little "hm" sound, one that sounded... pleased. Happy, even. And he turned back to the tv as well, gently rubbing the back of your hand with his thumb.

When you gathered up the courage to look at him out of the corner of your eye, you found that he was smiling. And it made your heart race.

Oh.

 _Oh_.

This was.... This was not good. This was going to be a problem.

You were irrevocably, irreparably, _irresponsibly_ in love with him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wonder what Dib’s been drawing on those secret pages ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)


	6. Crying in Formalwear

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A school function is SUPPOSED to be misty uneventful, but you can’t catch a break, can you?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’ll bet you thought we abandoned this story, didn’t you.

Every spring the school held an annual fundraiser gala, mostly just to convince rich parents to donate more money but also as a way for students to show off their personal accomplishments. Every spring you begged your parents to come, and every year they declined. This year however, you had gotteb a strong "maybe." Under most circumstances, a maybe wouldn't be anything to get excited over but for you it was like angels had come down from the heavens to sing for you.

So needless to say you were pretty nervous about the gala.

You must have sent Dib at least a dozen pictures of different dresses, asking him which one you should wear. And he responded to every single picture by saying, "you would look beautiful in that," which made you blush, but wasn't very helpful.

When you asked him what he intended to wear he told you he wasn't going.

"What?! What do you mean you're not going? _Everybody_ goes!" You cried into the phone, which was wedged between your head and shoulder while you held dresses up against your body, fruitlessly attempting to pick one.

"When have I ever been the kind of guy to do what everybody else is doing?" He responded.

"Okay, that's true but still. This is like, more important than prom! Why aren't you going?" You asked, dropping an armful of dresses on the ground and kicking them in annoyance.

"Why should I? It's all about showing off to our parents right? My dad's not even coming so why bother?"

“My parents never come either, but I always go! Please, Dib? They finally said they might come this year, and I’d really love for you to come see. Plus, there’s free food.”

Dib paused, sighed, and mumbled something into the phone that you couldn’t understand.

“I can’t hear you, Dibble.”

“...does this really mean that much to you?”

“I mean...yeah, kinda? It’s an important event.”

“Alright, fine. Don’t complain when I show up in one of my dad’s old button-ups though, I’m not wasting the effort for a suit.”

"Yes! Thank you, Dib, you're the best!" You said, narrowly avoiding slipping on a green silk dress that you hadn't worn since middle school. You were beginning to think you might just have to go out and buy a new dress. "Hey, are you busy right now?" You asked, pulling a pair of shoes out from under your bed.

"I dunno, I mean I'm on the phone with some girl who keeps badgering me into going to dumb school events." You could hear the teasing smile in his voice and it made your heart swell.

"Sounds like a real bitch." You joked.

"Nah, she's actually really cool once you get to know her. You'd like her, she'spretty great." Oh. You were not anticipating such a genuine and sweet response.

"Well, would you be willing to hang up on her and come dress shopping with me?" You asked.

"Yeah, I think I can do that." He said.

"Okay." You responded, smiling much harder than was reasonable.

"Okay." He responded. There was a moment of silence. Normally you hated silence in phone conversations but this didn't bother you so much.

"I think this is the part where you're supposed to hang up." You teased.

"No, I'm pretty sure hanging up is _your_ job. It's my job to drive us places and it's your job to press the 'end call' button." He retorted.

"Huh, I thought my job was just to stand around and look pretty!" You laughed, not intending for him to take your comment seriously at all.

"You can multitask!" Dib replied and you found yourself flustered by the idea that he found you pretty. To distract from your own emotions, you wuickly turned the tables on him.

"Are we actually having a 'no you hang up first' thing right now?" You laughed through the sentence but the idea filled you with warm fuzzy feelings that you weren't entirely comfortable with.

“Nope.” Said Dib, milliseconds before the call cut out. You were going to get him back for that, you were sure of it.

But tabling your revenge aspirations for another day, you threw on a basic-but-still-sexy outfit, complete with a jacket you’d stolen from Faith’s closet along with her lip gloss the last time she’d had you over. For some reason, you were specifically thinking of Dib’s drawings today, and you ended up with the same top and jewelry you’d been wearing in that sketch he’d given you.

Probably nothing to worry about.

You found yourself happy when you threw yourself into Dib’s passenger seat, the excitement and rush of a positive social interaction flooding you when you saw him smiling at you.

It hit you, suddenly, that this was the first time you’d been in Dib’s car without being drunk or miserable. You were determined to make up for all the bad memories with good ones today, even if it meant your feet would be sore from walking around all day.

"Okay so there's this super nice place like two towns over that makes the _prettiest_ dresses for like, dirt cheap so I was thinking we could have like a little mini road trip and just hang out in a different city for the day!" You said.

"Why hello and good morning to you too." Dib replied, making you roll your eyes.

"I said hello _and_ good morning on the phone this morning, is that not enough for you? Gosh you're so high maintenance!" You teased. "It's only like an hour long drive so we can stay out there for most of the day and just bum around and do whatever after we find my dress!" You said. Dib backed his car out of your driveway and nodded.

"I gotta stop at my place for gas money then."

"No, I'll pay! I'll pay for everything today. My treat!" You insisted. Your parents wouldn't notice if a few extra dollars went missing from their bank account.

"You don't need to do that, I can pay for myself." He responded, giving you a look that you couldn't quite interpret. God, you hoped you hadn't offended him.

"I know, but I want to. I've got a lot of stuff to make up to you so just let me take care of you today, okay?" You didn't notice that your statement gave him goosebumps, but you did notice the way his adams apple bobbed when he swallowed, and the way he looked at you like you were... like you were something special.

“Look, I...if you want to pay for this trip today, I’ll let you, but...you know you don’t owe me anything, right?”

“I know that! I just mean...you’re so nice to me, you always take care of me when I’m sad and stuff, so I wanna do something nice for you for once!”

You did not miss the blush that crept up Dib’s ears and cheeks. His eyes darted around for a moment, before he chuckled awkwardly and looked away from you back to the road.

“So! Where to?”

“Left!”

“Left?!”

“Ok, mister knows-everything-paranormal-scientist-man, _east_ then.”

“No...I mean, which road should I be taking.”

“Oh. Celadon Street to the highway, then stay on the east lane until we see...Kalbur Road for Whitewater City.” You said, reading off your phone.

The hour long drive felt a lot shorter than it actually was. You decided to attribute that to the fact that you spent the majority of the trip arguing over which famous cryptid would be the best to have sex with.

"I'm telling you, mothman would treat me right!" Dib insisted.

"Okay and I'm telling you that you're full of shit and bigfoot is total daddy material." You responded. "Turn right up here and the store's at the end of the street."

"Bigfoot wouldn't know how to be delicate! You're so small and big is literally in his name! One wrong move and he'd accidentally snap you in half before you even started!" He responded, pulling into the parking lot in front of the store.

"Okay sure, fine, I'd get fucking wrecked, but like isn't seeing mothman an omen? Like people see him before bad shit happens? If you fuck the mothman you are so fucking cursed. No, _you're_ not cursed, your _dick_ is cursed." You said and Dib laughed so hard he snorted.

"Okay, can we at least agree to table this argument until we've finished shopping?" He asked. You nodded and hopped out of the car, leading him into the sweet little boutique you'd dragged him to.

Dib looked (and felt) very out of place in the sugary, feminine, brightly colored shop, but the way you were holding his hand to tug him along made up for it. You seemed drawn to a certain rack of dresses, covered entirely in cute little numbers of various colors, textures, and patterns.

The one thing they all had in common was a _very_ low-cut neckline. That couldn’t be dress-code appropriate, even for formal wear, right?

Didn’t seem to matter to you, as you pulled a couple of sleeker designs off the rack and held them up to your body.

“What do you think about this one?”

Dib thought if he saw you wearing that, he’d just pounce on you right then and there.

"Uhhh, you would look great in like,, everything here but maybe try something more like..." He frantically shuffled through another rack of dresses before pulling out a more conservative one. "Like this!" He said holding it out to you.

"Jesus are you trying to make me look like a nun?" You giggled. "I think I get what you mean though. Sexy probably isn't the best choice for this particular occasion." You placed both dresses back on the appropriate racks and pulled him through to another section of the store.

When you stopped walking you kept holding Dib's hand. The contact made him lightheaded and you didn't even seem to realize you were doing it.

"How about something like this?" You reached far deeper into the rack than Dib thought was physically possible (he couldn't even see past the row of dresses in front of him. Was this store some kind of Mary Poppins bag? He'd have to remember to investigate it another day) and pulled out a seemingly simple blue dress. When Dib looked closer he could see tiny embroidered stars in the dark fabric. It was hypnotizing, and it would look incredible on you.

"You should go try that one on!" He said, embarrassed by his own enthusiasm. 

"Yeah?" You asked, with the sweetest most hopeful grin. Dib nodded and you pulled him along to the dressing rooms.

He found himself leaning on the doorframe of the dressing room trying too hard to look casual as you got dressed. When you finally pulled back the curtain and stepped out...

Dib was reminded that he was wholly, hopelessly in love.

You looked like a goddess. You looked like the night sky personified. You looked like everything he’d ever wanted and everything he’d ever want again.

“You...you look really good.”

“You think?”

“Yeah. Don’t even bother with anything else, just keep that one.”

“You sure?”

“Absolutely.”

You gave him a quick hug, so quick in fact that he hadn't even realized it was happening until you'd turned away and closed the curtain to change back into your normal clothes.

After buying your dress, the rest of your day with Dib was spent driving around searching for things to do. You got ice cream, you made him try boba, he insisted that you play a round of laser tag at the half defunct arcade (and he kicked your ass at it). Overall, it was a good day. A really good day.

Maybe the best day you'd had in a long, long time.

When Dib finally dropped you off at the end of the night you were tempted to invite him to just spend the night. But your nerves got the better of you and you ended up just hugging him a little too long when you were saying goodbye.

The gala was on Monday, and tomorrow was Sunday which meant you had a whole day to primp and preen and make yourself pretty. For some reason the task seemed much more intimidating than usual. You sighed when you realized it was because you wanted to impress Dib.

You had a long day ahead of you.

Dark blue eye shadow (Dib liked the sky), black glittery eyeliner (Dib liked the stars), lace underwear (you get the idea), and the dress he’d chosen for you, and you were ready.

Well, physically ready. Emotionally, who could say. Spending the next few hours poised and proper, enduring the conversations with Faith, Hillary, and Jake that were sure to come, impressing your parents ~~and hoping they’d care~~, trying to make sure Dib was happy, you had a whole lot of things to take care of today.

Take a last drink of water. Fix your lipstick. Resist the urge to steal a shot from the liquor cabinet. Look at your reflection and remind yourself that _you can do this_ , because you’re a bad bitch, and _this is your element_.

Deep breath.

You’ve got this.

You were confidant as ever as you made your way down the few feet from your door to Dib’s car, thick velvet heels forcing you to strut rather than walk. You knew your feet would hurt tomorrow but it was worth it for the awestruck expression on his face.

“Hey there stranger, what’s a pretty girl like me gotta do to catch a ride with you?”

Dib rolled his eyes and smirked.

“Just get in, we’re running late.”

"Thanks again for giving me a ride. Since Jake's dad is a teacher he's already there and I just cannot deal with Faith and Hillary right now. And also, sorry that I'm probably not gonna be able to talk much tonight since, y'know, everybody's gonna be there and..." You trailed off. Dib saved you from your own shame by taking your hand and giving it a gentle squeeze.

"Just text me, okay? I'll be around if you need me." He assured you, and in that moment you felt so safe. So comfortable, so... _loved_.

"You look nice tonight, Dib." You said softly. You couldn't look him in the eyes so you opted for looking at your joined hands.

"You do too. I mean, you look more than nice you're..." you pull your eyes away from your hands to look at him. "You look incredible. Really, really incredible." He said, with the kind of sincerity that made your heart ache.

"Let's go, we're late!" You exclaimed, incapable of taking a compliment.

The ride was quiet, quick, and comfortable. The walk into the school gym, transformed into a luxurious display gala hall for the night, was less so. With Dib hanging back like a shadow, watching you from a distance, you felt lonely.

Somehow, being spotted and approached by Jake and Faith made you even more lonely.

“Oh hey, where’s Hillary?”

“She said she’s sick, but let’s be real here, the dumb bitch couldn’t handle her liquor and now she’s got like, the worst hangover.”

“Yeesh.”

“Yeah, yeesh is right. She puked on my shoes last night, fucking gross.”

“Have you seen my parents? I thought they’d be here by now.”

“Oh, you didn’t hear? They’re not coming.”

“...what?”

“Yeah, your mom texted my mom, apparently there was some store opening that they just _couldn’t_ miss.”

[You kind of look like you're dying right now so if you want to get away from all this shit I can start the car and we can get out of here]

It wasn't exactly the most tactful way he could have phrased it but the message still hit you hard.

[meet me out at the bleachers by the baseball field]

As soon as you sent the message you checked to make sure that Faith and Jake weren't watching you. They were not. In fact, they seemed to be very focused on one another. Gross. On the bright side, if Jake cheated on you with Faith you'd have a good excuse to break up with him.

Since they were preoccupied flirting, you fled out a side door and marched down to the bleachers. When you got there, Dib was already waiting for you.

He was waiting for you.

You lifted up your skirt and clambered up to the top of the bleachers with him. You sat in silence for a moment, both of you just taking in the cool spring air. You looked down at your shoes and decided to kick them off. You didn't give a fuck if they got dirty. You struggled to get the second shoe off, only succeeding in kicking yourself and making yourself even more miserable.

"Here," Dib said, gently grabbing your ankle and pulling the shoe off for you. As soon as he set it down you burst into tears.

“W-whoa, whoa, what happened, what’s wrong?!”

“My parents aren’t coming.”

“What?”

“They ditched me for some fucking corporate opening party.”

Dib was silent. He scooted closer to you, and after what seemed to be a moment of internal debate, wrapped one arm around your shoulder and pulled you into a half-hug.

“My dad’s not here either. He used to say he’d come to things, but nowadays he just doesn’t bother.”

You leaned your head into Dib’s shoulder and gave up. The tears fell and stained your cheeks with streaks of black mascara and you knew it would take a lot to get the tracks off.

Your head ached. Your chest was tight. Your blood felt hot and you could feel your throat contracting when you breathed. The world felt like it was closing in around you. Everything hurt and you did the only thing you could think to do that would pull you out of the miserable pit that you were very quickly falling into.

You looked up at Dib.

And you kissed him.

He was so soft and so warm and suddenly everything was alright again. He didn't hesitate to kiss you back and you finally felt _wanted_. He cupped your cheek with one hand and rubbed slow comforting circles against your back with the other.

You tangled your hands in his hair and pulled him closer to you. For a moment you both pulled apart, breaths mingling in the sweet spring air. Then Dib leaned back in, pressing a tentative kiss against your lips.

Dib had thought that if he were to ever kiss you that he might just bluescreen and cease to function but against all odds, kissing you felt... natural. Like it was something he was supposed to do. Your lips were soft and you tasted sweet and everything was perfect.

He only thought to end the kiss when he could feel your mascara tears trailing down your cheeks and onto his own.

You still had your eyes closed when he pulled away. The sparkles from your makeup were running down the black lines on your face, and even through the sadness of the situation you were smiling softly.

You looked like you were crying starlight.

When the haze died and you’d finally opened your eyes, the tears started anew. You sniffled, and reached up to wipe off the black stains you’d accidentally smeared on Dib’s face. You didn’t even seem to consider drying your own until Dib thumbed them off with the hem of the too-long sleeve of his borrowed shirt.

You slumped into Dib’s hold, silent sobs absorbing into his shirt as his hand threaded through your hair gently. He shushed you despite your lack of sound.

Even if it hurt to see you like this, Dib found some sweet emotion in being able to comfort you.

When your sobs began to fade into hiccups, you pulled back. You gently thumbed at the splotch of mascara tears you'd left on Dib's shirt.

"'M sorry." You mumbled, trying to rub out the stain only to set it in deeper. Dib gently lifted your head so that you were looking at him. He had intended to say something sweet and romantic about how you never had to apologize to him, but he was cut off by your sudden laughter.

"S-sorry I know you were gonna say something but, pffft, I can't help but wonder what shade of lipstick you're wearing!" You said between bouts of hysterical giggling.

"Lipstick?" Dib reached up to touch his lips, and when he pulled his fingers away they had a thin layer of red pigment on them. Your lipstick. He had your lipstick on his fingers and his lips.

He laughed with you, wiping the remains of the red wax off of his lips with his sleeve. The two of you let it happen, the hysteria of such an emotional rollercoaster taking over for a minute. The laughter died and you were left feeling better. A little hollow, but...ok.

“Do you still want to finish the gala?”

“Fuck it. Besides, if I go back now, my mascara face will be plastered on everyone’s Facebook wall for the next 10 years.”

“Hah. I’ll take your word for it.”

“I’m gonna...I’m gonna go wash my face and grab my purse. Then, let’s...do something. Somewhere. Anything.”

“Well...Gaz left a bag of arcade tokens in the backseat. Wanna go put our names on the leaderboard?”

“Yes please.”

Surprisingly, you didn't feel particularly out of place at the arcade despite your fancy dress and your tear tracks and your lack of shoes. You felt okay. You watched Dib try way too hard at a bunch of crummy old games and you finally, _finally_ felt okay.

Until you checked your phone.

You had one text from Jake and another from Faith, both asking where you had gone and what the fuck you were doing.

Dib noticed your distress and turned away from his game, despite having just started it.

"Hey, what's up?" He asked. You locked your phone and gave him as convincing of a smile as you could muster. Unfortunately (or, perhaps very fortunately) for you Dib saw right through it. You sighed and resigned to burdening him with your feelings yet again.

"Jake and Faith just texted and asked where I am. And I can't exactly tell them I ditched the gala to go make out with you and be bad at arcade games."

“Tell them you were sick or something.”

“Ugh. Jake wants me to send a selfie so he knows where I am.”

“Why?”

“...to make sure I’m not...y’know... _cheating_.”

“Oh. Um...hold on, I’ve got an idea.”

Dib took off his coat and held it up behind you. If you angled it right, it was a pretty convincing ‘bed’ backdrop. You felt like you were about to get off Scott-free, at least until Jake texted back.

[lmao, cool babe. I almost thought u were off with that geek freak, Dip or whatever his name is. Lowkey tho, wash ur face, u look like a fuckin troll. No wonder that loser thot he could talk 2 u, u almost look like one of them]

You were used to texts like this. You were used to responding with [k, goodnight] and pretending it never happened. You were _n_ _ot_ used to anyone else seeing these messages and being upset by them.

"Okay, what the _fuck_." Dib seethed. "What's wrong with him?"

"Don't take any of what he says seriously, Dib I think you're-"

"This isn't about _me_! I'm used to guys like him being dicks to me, I'm fine. Does he say shit like that to you all the time? You can't just let him talk to you like that!"

"I don't exactly have any other choice, Dib. If I try to defend myself he's gonna start spreading rumors. He's gonna think- know. He's gonna _know_ that I cheated on him and he's gonna tell everybody that I'm with you." Dib gave you a sad look, one that made your poor exhausted heart wrench.

"Would that really be so bad? Would it really be so awful for people to know that we're..." He trailed off. "What are we?" He asked. The flashing lights of the arcade games made it easy to see the tears welling up and glistening in his eyes.

“I...I don’t...I can’t tell! God I hate him so much, I just want to throw it all away and be with you but what would happen?”

“What do you _mean_ ‘what would happen’? He’d cry himself to sleep and we’d be happy, and _together_!”

“I...I-“

“Do you even...I mean, I...oh my god why is this so fucking difficult. _I_ like you. I don’t know if... _t_ _hat_ back there, if that was just a fluke or you being hysterical or what, but _I know_ that _I want to be with you_.”

“Dib, I—“

“No, hold on. Let me finish.”

You nodded, biting back tears.

“I don’t _care_ what anyone else thinks of me. I’m used to it, I can handle it. I want to be happy, and I want you to be happy, and I want us to be happy together, and if that means I have to just be your friend or keep things secret or whatever, so be it. But... _this_? Everything you’re doing, it’s making you sad. _He’s_ making you sad.”

Dib took a deep breath and smoothed back his hair-scythe.

“I can’t...I can’t just watch you be sad forever.”

You took a deep breath but the air didn't seem to reach your lungs. You clenched your skirt, balling and unballing your fists.

"I'm just so scared." You whimpered. "I'm- I don't. I don't wanna be friends. I wanna kiss you again and hold your hand and do all of that mushy shit but I just... I can't abandon my entire life. It's so much more complicated than just Jake making me sad."

"It's not just him though, is it?" Dib asked softly. "It's everything. Your parents, your cousins, him. It all makes you sad. I'm not saying you should abandon all of that for _me_ I'm just... I just want you to be happy." He said. You sniffled and nodded, choking back tears.

"I already feel so shitty about keeping you a secret but I just... I can't, Dib. I'm not ready. I want to have you and have my life as it is and I know that I'm selfish and greedy and-"

"Stop." He cut you off. "I told you, it's okay if you want to keep this between us. I just want you to know that... that being with all of them isn't going to make you happy."

"I know," You whispered. "I know." He opened his arms to you and you leapt into him. You wished you could just burn it all down and start over from scratch.

Huh.

Burning it down.

That sounded like a pretty satisfying idea.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Damn finally they smooch, took a while.


	7. Doing Alright

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Transition chapter. You do the frick frack with like 4 lines of plot, enjoy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> New Literary Genera: Get That Goth Nerd Some Coochie

Dib wasn’t sure how he felt about everything. On the one hand, you’d been chipper as of late, kissing him more often and (sometimes) more publicly. Normally he’d be happy about that, but you’d also been acting a little cagey.

You were acting the same way he did when he wanted to keep it secret that the ~~porn~~ tasteful nudes he’d drawn had your face.

You were keeping a secret, and Dib was going to find out what it was if it was the last thing he did.

Normally he wouldn't have any issues with just sneaking into your house and digging for evidence but now it would just feel weird. What kind kf a boyfriend digs through his girlfriends stufc just because she's been a little on edge lately?

So he decided to focus more on your behavior. And he also posted on a relationship advice forum because this was all new territory for him.

Most of the advice boiled down to "make sure she feels safe telling you what it is and wait for her to tell you in her own time." That wasn't particularly helpful because Dib really felt like you were already at a point where you were comfortable telling each other things. But he supposed if he just tried to pick up on your behavior, he could figure out what it was that had you so antsy and solve the problem before you even told him about it!

One afternoon after school, he was sitting on your back porch with you, pretending to chastise you for not getting any homework done while he distracted you from said homework with kisses.

“Use cold water, hydrogen peroxide, and baking soda to remove blood stains. If you’re going to dismember him use a drop cloth and then burn it, if you’re going to melt him in acid, use a polyurethane container, _not_ ceramic.”

“...are you planning to kill him?”

“I’ve had a passing thought or two. Or seventeen.”

You rolled your eyes, used to Dib’s casual mentions of violence. The horror movies you binged together were fantastic thought fodder.

“Ok mister, but if you get caught, I don’t know anything.”

“To think I’d ever betray you like that, is there no honor among thieves?”

“Honor among thieves perhaps, but honor among serial killers? Unheard of.”

“Sure babe.”

“Besides, I was always more of an arson kind of girl anyway, fire is so much more satisfying.”

Something about your tone when you said that made the hair on the back of Dib's neck stand up. He laughed it off, but he couldn't help the nagging feeling at the back of his head that told him to dig deeper.

Before he could decide whether or not to ask you about your statement, you were sitting in his lap. Well, that was certainly one way to shut him up.

You wrapped your legs around his waist and put your hands on his shoulders, smiling that sinfully sweet smile of yours.

"Hey,I just remembered, are you ever gonna show me those _secret_ pictures you drew that you didn't let me see?" You asked.

Dib blushed and snapped to attention. He stammered, unable to form entire words and only succeeding in making a few indecipherable syllables. You took the opportunity to snatch his art folder from the table and pop it open.

Dib could have died right then and there. Fuck existence, fuck monsters, fuck living a happy life, he was _not_ prepared to handle however you were going to react.

“Whoa, these are really accurate. Did I drunk text you some nudes or something?”

"W-what? No! Don't look at those!" He reached across the table to try and get the drawings from you, but it was no use. You flipped through them and smiled.

"These are like. Really hot actually. This one especially." You pointed to one of the more... _detailed_ drawings Dib had done. It was also the only one that featured both of you.

The picture was of you, laying on your back with your legs spread, eyes rolled back in ecstasy as Dib ate you out.

“You know, the only real issue with this one is that it suggests you leave your glasses on when you eat someone out, and that’s just a bad idea.”

“ _Please_ stop.”

“I mean what if I was a squirter, What then? It would get all over your glasses and fog them up, forever.”

Dib did not respond, instead simply opting to let his blush deepen and not-so-subtly shift his lap the direction _away_ from your gaze.

“Plus how are you going to be sexy if your glasses keep bonking the inside of someone’s thighs? That’s gotta be uncomfortable for everyone involved.”

"Oh my God." He groaned. You scooted your chair around the corner of the table and Dib panicked. The mischievous look in your eyes did things to his guts.

"Can I ask you something, Dibble?" Dib's response was an incoherent mash of words. "Do you want to touch me?" You asked, placing your hand on Dib's thigh, uncomfortably close to his growing bulge. He didn't trust himself to respond verbally so he just nodded and avoided eye contact.

When you reached up and pulled his glasses off of his face, he knew he was done for.

When you swung your leg over his lap to sit on his dick, straining against the denim of his jeans, he thought he might be dreaming, but the squeeze of your hips in his hands assured him it was real.

You kissed him like always, gently and with a practiced skill he could never hope to replicate.

He traced his hands up your sides, unsure of himself and unaware of how far you wanted to take things. You whined against his lips but he didn’t make a move himself, content to let you do as you pleased with him.

You bit his lip, making him whimper. He slowly moved one hand up your side and around your front, stopping just short of your breasts. You moaned into the kiss, encouraging him to keep going.

Tentatively he reached up and squeezed your breast. In response you rolled your hips agaisnt his.

"I think about blowing you, like 24/7." You said, hardly even pulling away from the kiss.

Dib made a noise as best he could with you kissing him. His hips bucked up into you, showing his feelings for that idea better than his words could.

He whined again when you pulled back, but swallowed harshly and let you go once he saw you sink to your knees.

“Nobody’s home, we can be loud. Well, _you_ can be loud. I’m gonna be busy choking on your dick.”

He moaned and you unzipped his pants. You leaned up and pulled his shirt up to kiss his stomach while you freed his cock from its confines. When he first felt your fingers wrap around him, he was certain he had died and gone to heaven.

Your kisses trailed down from his stomach to the base of his cock, where you pulled back to look at him. You gave him a sweet, innocent smile and took his head in your mouth.

Dib was pretty sure he couldn't have been quiet if he wanted to. The feeling of your plush lips wrapped around him was absolutely incredible, so incredible that he couldn't help but let out a loud moan.

He was sure he was shaking, gripping the fabric of the couch as he held himself back from bucking up into your mouth. You looked focused, and the teasing little kitten licks you were giving him were keeping Dib’s attention on you.

When you pulled up for air, the look you shot him was criminal.

“I like your voice, Dib. You make such cute noises.”

Dib whimpered.

"Just like that, babe!" You smiled and dove back down on his cock. This time, instead of teasing him, you took as much of him into your mouth as you could. Dib let out another strangled moan as you bobbed on his cock.

The sight of you giving him head was absolutely heavenly, but he knew that if he didn't stop now he'd cum and be too spent to pleasure you. So he gently pushed your head away from him, and when you gave him a confused look, he kissed you (even though your mouth tasted like his cock.)

You smiled against his kiss, apparently picking up on what he wanted. By the time he’d pulled back from you, the skirt you’d been wearing was tossed across the room.

Holy _shit_.

The look of you climbing back into his lap in those skimpy panties was going to get Dib off many, _many_ times in the future.

That is, if you yourself wouldn't be the one to get him off.

You pulled off your tank top. Dib knew you hadn't worn a bra today, since there were no extra straps in sight and you had made your negative opinions towards strapless bras very clear in the past. Despite him knowing that you weren't wearing one, it still surprised him to see your bare tits on display for him.

"You can touch them, y'know." You said, glancing down at your chest. Dib wasn't sure if you were teasing him for staring or just inviting him in, but either way his hands were on your breasts the second you finished your sentence.

He hid his blush and shocked expression by attaching his mouth to your neck, not caring if he left a mark. If he was gonna lose his virginity to his best friend like this, he was for _damn_ sure gonna let everyone see.

You wiggled under his hold, trying to pull off your panties and yank his underwear down far enough that you could fuck him without getting stuck to his zipper.

Dib could practically feel the heat and wetness in your core and he hadn’t even _touched_ you yet.

When you finally managed to tug his pants around his knees you'd decided your panties weren't worth the struggle. Instead of shifting and shimmying to pull them off, you grabbed the thin fabric with both hands and literally tore your own panties off.

Dib nearly came right then and there.

You tugged his shirt up and over his head and pressed your bare chests together. When Dib felt your smooth, damp lips rubbing against his cock he pulled away from your neck.

"I'm... I'm gonna be honest, you _need_ to go slow, okay? I've never actually taken a dick this big so, be gentle with me." You said. Dib hadn't realized that you talking about how large his cock was would become a fetish of his but once you said it he couldn't get enough.

“Y-yeah, sure, of course, whatever you want just _please_ keep going.”

You kissed him, enjoying the feeling of his still-shaking hands on your waist. Dib relaxed into the kiss, and you could tell he was holding himself back.

He seemed to remember how much you liked his voice, because when you finally sank down a few inches onto his cock, he didn’t hesitate to let the rambling dirty-talk fall off his tongue.

"Jesus, fuck! You feel so good, holy shit. God you're so perfect, so fucking good, oh my god." The look on your face as you lifted yourself up and sat back down, this time sinking a little further down on Dib's cock, made his head spin. "I've been thinking about this for so long- fuck I've wanted you so bad. You're always running around in those cute little outfits, you have no idea how hard it makes me."

You leaned forward to kiss him. It was sloppy and wet but it was probably the hottest thing Dib had ever felt. When he moaned into your mouth your pussy clenched around him, gripping him like a vice. When you pulled away you slid one hand down between the two of you so you could rub your clit while you responded to Dib's rambling.

“Fuck, I’ve been wanting to do this since the party, even when I was getting face-fucked by college guys I was picturing you. You’re so good to me, and you’re so _big_! I nearly jumped you in the car on the way to the arcade.”

Dib cut you off with another kiss, trailing down from your lips to your neck, to your chest. You leaned into his touch and kept at it. Dib’s hold on your hips tightened and he was sure he was going to leave bruises.

“ _Good_.” He thought.

You shuddered against him, finally taking all of his cock into you. You let out a strangled moan of pleasure as your eyes fluttered. You bucked your hips against him, not so much riding as you were grinding. Dib felt like he was going to pass out. Your wet cunt was squeezing him in ways he hadn't even imagined, and the sound of you saying his name as you fucked him was like hearing angels sing.

"Oh fuck!" You exclaimed, when Dib momentarily lost control and thrusted hard inside of you.

"Shit, fuck, I'm so sorry-"

"Do it again!"

“Wha—?”

“Do it again!”

Dib did as asked, holding your body close to his and bucking up into you as hard as he could. If it hurt, you were clearly enjoying it.

Throwing caution to the wind, Dib put his mouth back on your neck, testing his limits with a gentle nip before biting down harder once you moaned in response.

With you still frantically rubbing your clit as Dib thrusted up into you, it was only a matter of time before your orgasm drew near.

"Ffffuuuuck, yes! I'm gonna cum! Fuck me harder! Make me cum on your dick!" You rode him with a ferocity he didn't know you were capable of. Dib did his best to go harder, but he was afraid if he went as hard as he was capable of he would finish before you did.

Luckily for him, it only took three more thrusts before you were shaking and squealing and rutting against him like a bitch in heat. Even after your orgasm you still tried to keep up with Dib, kissing him and telling him to cum for you.

"W-where do you want me to-"

"Inside. Please, Dib cum inside." You begged. Upon seeing the slightly panicked look on his face you quickly reassured him, "I'm on the pill."

He kissed you again and did what you asked, full body shivers overtaking him as he spilled himself inside of you. You sat still in his lap, letting him enjoy the feeling of riding through his high in your body.

Once he was done, Dib rested his head on your shoulder and let out the breath he hadn’t realized he was holding. He kept his hands on your waist, holding you more gently than before.

“Fuck, I think I’m in love with you.”

Dib choked, suddenly aware of what he’d said. He expected a lot of things from you after that, panic, rejection, awkward friendzoning, whatever.

What he didn’t expect was for you to kiss his cheek.

And he certainly wasn’t expecting you to start crying.

"I-I love- fuck, I'm sorry, Jesus why am I crying?"

You pulled back and Dib was suddenly aware of the fact that you were both sticky with sweat. Immediately he reached up to wipe away your tears but you stopped him. You caught his wrists and kissed his palms. Left and then right.

You took a deep shuddering breath and tried again.

"I'm in love with you too." You said, tears and sweat shining on your perfect face.

Dib couldn’t force words to work, so instead he did the next best thing, and pulled you back into the hug. He couldn’t tell wether the shaking was you, or him, or a mix of both. It wasn’t even sad, just...being so close to another person was so overwhelming.

As you shook and mumbled incoherently into his chest, Dib buried his nose in your hair and nuzzled your head. If it was creepy or weird, he couldn’t bring himself to care.

This felt good. This felt right.

Neither of you bothered to move much, instead you just rested in each others arms until the warm spring air mixed with the layer of sweat sticking you to each other got to be uncomfortable.

After you'd both redressed, you lounged on the couch with the windows open and some stupid movie playing. If someone were to ask Dib what heaven was like, he would have described that afternoon.

Dib had been thoroughly distracted from whatever secret it was that you were keeping from him. In fact, by the end of the day he seemed to have forgotten about it almost entirely. After all, he had much more pleasant things to think about now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things are really heating up for ya’ll’s relationship.


	8. Burning Bridges

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You take Dib’s advice a little too literally.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This entire chapter was an excuse to make puns.

Things had been good lately. You had a boyfriend (two, technically but the first one didn't count) who loved you and you had awesome sex with, you were learning to give less fucks about your parents and your cousins opinions, and thanks to the help of the previously established boyfriend, you were no longer failing Algebra II! All in all, you had a pretty good thing going.

But alas, all good things must come to an end.

May was easily one of your favorite months. It was when the weather was perfectly situated between uncomfortably warm and awkwardly chilly. Flowers were in full bloom, the school year school was coming to a close, and the days didn't feel so slow anymore.

So needless to say, you were feeling pretty good at lunch, even though you were eating a gross turkey sandwich and sitting in a crowded room full of your peers.

It certainly helped that you could stare at your boyfriend and daydream while you ate.

He had a pencil out and was scribbling furiously on notebook paper. Even with everything you’d done together, he still blushed whenever he caught your gaze. Not that it stopped him, if anything the strokes of his pencil got faster.

Things were nice. You got to eat food without feeling guilty, you got to watch your absolutely adorkable boyfriend draw, and you got to tune out the annoying sounds of Faith and Hillary jabbering on about fuck-all.

That is, until you noticed Jake sneaking up behind Dib and grabbing the paper out of his hands.

“Hey, everyone, look at this! The nerdlord is creeping on the hot chick! Dip’s got a _crush_ on her, what a looooooooser!”

Your stomach sunk. For a second you were terrified. One wrong move from any party involved and everything would be revealed.

 _Would that really be so bad? Would it really be so awful for people to know that we're..._ Dib's words from after the gala rang out in your mind.

You were vaguely aware of Dib trying to get the paper back from Jake, and you were vaguely aware of Jake calling him a pervert and a dork. But you were more focused on the feeling of your blood boiling in your veins.

_Would it really be so bad...? Burn it all down and start over from scratch... Would it really be so bad...? Burn it all down..._

The sound of your chair scraping against tile as you stood up was what drew you out of your own thoughts.

"Are you seriously fucking doing this right now, Jake?" You said, garnering even more attention than Jake's announcement of Dib having a 'crush' on you.

“Babe, come on, he’s being a little creep, look at this, he’s _drawing_ you—“

“Shut. The fuck. Up.”

Jake did as asked, though you severely doubted it was because you’d asked.

“God, you’re such a fucking dick, you know that? You’re threatened by anyone smarter than you so you just kick people around when you think they can’t fight back.”

“Babe, what the fuck are you—“

“No, you don’t get to call me that. I’ve seen you staring at _my cousin_ _’s_ ass, hitting on college girls, all in front of me.”

“So? C’mon it’s not like I fucked any of them.”

“Well you’re not gonna fuck me anymore either, dickhead. It’s over. And by the way? I faked it, every single time.”

You didn't wait for a response. You just grabbed your backpack and left the lunch room. You felt like your whole soul was on fire. Between the rage at your now ex-boyfriend, and the elation of finally having dumped him, you felt unstoppable. Invincible even.

You could do anything.

And you were going to do _something._

Meanwhile, the lunchroom had devolved into utter chaos.

Amid the havoc, the laughter, one face remained stoic in shock.

Dib.

Sure, maybe you hadn’t gotten down and declared your undying love for him, but you’d rejected somebody else’s love, and that was certainly a step in the right direction!

Dib almost didn’t mind that his glasses got smudged when Jake slammed his head into his lunch tray.

He waited until Jake had stormed off (to go rant and rave about how you were a frigid bitch, undoubtedly) to take out his phone and text you to make sure you were okay.

He got no response.

You had never left him on read before but, this time you did. It was alarming of course, and he wanted to go find you but the bell rang. It's fine, he'd see you in Field Biology in an hour!

He went from concerned to anxious when he got to Field Bio and you were nowhere to be seen. Faith and Hillary were staring at him for most of class, not even bothering to whisper while they gossiped about him.

He didn’t pay attention to what they were saying. It was bound to be something he’d heard before anyway. Normally he’d have no trouble tuning things out in favor of listening to the teacher, or in most cases reading a book under the table, but for some reason today he couldn’t focus on anything.

Oh, right. Worry. He was worried about you. He figured he’d call after class, then after his next class, then repeat until he got home and could truly concentrate on you.

You’d _have_ to respond sometime, right?

You didn't.

You were busy with... other things.

You had walked all the way home, absolutely enraged the whole time. Then, you had gathered up everything Jake had ever given you. Every piece of jewelry, every CVS teddy bear, every stupid Polaroid picture you'd taken together. You threw the box of trash into the garbage.

You felt bad about not responding to Dib's calls. He was probably freaking out. But if you answered the phone you might let him talk you out of what you were going to do. So instead you shot him a brief text and turned your phone off.

[I'm okay, love you ❤]

Somehow that made Dib even more concerned. Sure, you _said_ you were ok, but people like you, people like _him_ had a tendency to lie about things like that.

He was even more worried when he got to school the next morning and didn’t see you. Things started clicking into place once he overheard Faith’s voice whispering your name.

“It _had_ to be her! I mean, a fight like that, and then Jake wakes up with his car torched? It can’t be a coincidence!”

"Okay obviously it was her but like shouldn't she be getting questioned by the cops instead of just the guidance counselor?" Hillary replied as she closed her locker.

"I bet her parents paid off Jake's parents so they wouldn't press charges." Faith said, then they walked away, the conversation becoming too distant for Dib to hear.

The more he overheard throughout the morning the more he began to understand what happened. Of course, there was plenty of meaningless gossip thrown into the mix too but he knew what to believe.

Some time after school and before sundown, you had gone to Jake's house and lit his car on fire in the driveway.

Holy shit.

Dib...was slightly put off by how attractive that thought was. You’d gone out and committed a felony, destroyed your reputation, burned every bridge to your past... _f_ _or him_. You did all that because you wanted to be with _him_. Because you were angry at Jake, for making fun of _him_.

If he wasn’t in love with you before, he sure as hell was now. Only thing left to do was...find you.

They said you were with the guidance counselor, right? Surely he wouldn’t be overstepping his bounds to just...meet you there?

Unfortunately when he got there the door was locked. Although, he could see your silhouette through the frosted glass and he could hear your voice.

"I already told you, it's being handled by our families lawyers. In the eyes of the law, I haven't done anything so you can stop asking me questions and just let me go to class!" You sounded exasperated, but it was still a relief to hear you.

He stayed and listened for another few minutes. The conversation just went in circles, the counselor would ask you a question like "how often do you have destructive and felonious thoughts?" or "do you think you're a danger to others?" And every time you would (very politely) basically just tell her to fuck off.

After he'd heard enough to feel comfortable going to class, he left. Hopefully the counselor would at least let you out for lunch.

After almost two hours of tapping his pen on his desk in various classrooms, it was finally lunch. Dib sat in his usual spot, away from the crowd, close to the doors. When he saw you walk in he let out a sigh. You were smiling, and that meant you weren’t hurt at least.

Dib watched as you made your way to your normal spot in between your cousins...and walk right past them. Not even a cursory glance, you acted like they didn’t even exist!

You walked past their table. You walked past Jake’s table. You walked past the drama club’s table.

And you sat down at his.

“Hey.”

"Uh, hey yourself! What's- I mean, what did you..?" Somehow, you sitting at the same table as him was more earth shattering than you setting Jake's car on fire. You laughed and reached across the table to hold his hand.

You were holding his hand.

In public.

With everyone watching you.

"So, you've probably heard by now but I kind of did a thing last night." You said. "I had this whole like, revelation, you know? I mean, it was all stuff you'd said to me before about how none of them," you gestured with your free hand at the rest of the lunch room. "Actually matter and if I should just like, cut out all of the shit that makes me unhappy."

"And you did that by committing arson." Dib said, intending to sound scolding. His voice gave away his true feelings and you beamed at him.

“Hell yeah I did! Burn it to the ground and start over, right?” You said with a wink.

Dib couldn’t help the laughing fit that took over him.

“Fuck, almost 10 years of people saying _I_ was gonna end up killing someone, and its you that ends up setting someone’s car on fire!”

“Oh my god, you’re right! How’s that for some fucking cosmic irony?”

“Holy shit...ho-lee-shit. I think I’m in love with you.”

“That joke doesn’t land anymore now that you’ve supported me post-felony.”

"Fair enough. I do love you though." He said, squeezing your hand. You lifted his hand up to your mouth and kissed his knuckles.

"I know. I love you too." You said softly. Then, as if some kind of spell had been broken, you glanced around the lunchroom. Every person staring at you quickly looked away when you caught their gaze.

"Oh man. I'm used to people being intimidated by me but not like this!" You chuckled. "I bet Faith and Hillary are like pissing themselves with how afraid they are that they might be the next to face my _fiery_ wrath!"

“Are you gonna make fire puns for the rest of our mortal existence?”

“ _Flame_ on.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Arson. Car arson.
> 
> Carson.


End file.
